A kid dresses up as a pirate for Halloween. He goes up to a woman’s house. She answers the door. He says “Trick or treat.” and She replies “Ahoy there, pirate. Where are your Buccaneers?” He says “There on my bucking head, you bucking idiot
There are many unfortunates out there who have been “cutting the ends of the brisket off”1 for so long that they never asked why.
1 This refers to an old story where a new bride asks why her husband always cut the ends off brisket before cooking. The husband says that his family has always done it this way. Eventually the bride asks her mother in law why, and her mother-in-law says that her mother always did it that way, so she kept up the tradition. So, the confused young bride goes to the hospital bed of her Grandma-in-law and asks, Grandma, why do you cut the ends off of the brisket? To which the Grandma replies, ”The pan was always a little too small”
It’s been a while since I made a personal update to the site and now I have made a new layout, locked out all the old user accounts and chnaged the whole site again, ain’t I a stinker?
The main reasoning behind the change is my need to flex my php and css muscles. While PHPnuke and PostNuke allow for flexable and attractive layouts, nothing says home made like a jabberwocky placed using an absolute tag in CSS. Yes, I used Adobe GoLive to get the site together. Yes, I use it for laying some stuff out. A wysiwyg editor for CSS layouts is a godsend for big stuff like text boxes, etc, but the graphics, etc, are laid out by hand in vi. So there.
If you haven’t yet, I suggest you check out Donnie Darko, quite a nice movie.
After a long, long long delay in posting my next daring missive I’ve returned to put down my latest words on digital paper. As some of you may or may not know the Real World does exist and is not a fairy tale created by llamas who want to stop playing CounterStrike.
Sadly the real world (and not just the one one MTV) has rules, and one of those is that the ethereal world that is the Internet is fueled not just by fark and slashdot, but by money too. So, I, the webmaster, need to focus on my job as well as my website. Sad isn’t it?
And so I present, the Top Ten Reasons why webmasters neglect their Websites:
10. Pure Laziness, too busy stuffing our mouths with Mountain Dew and Cheetos!
9. Three Words, Never Winter Nights (I know it is normally two words)
8. Beer, and its buddy Liquor.
7. See number 8 and Repeat.
6. Locked up in a Tape Closet.
5. Stupid IE 6 Security Patches!!!
4. The Terrorists stole my keyboard. Or was it Swiper the Fox?
3. Innumerable showings of Star Wars Episode 2 or Spiderman, pick your poison.
2. That last peice of news about Natalie Portman, you know the one.
1. Grand Theft Auto 3.
I’m a comics fan (No Duh).
I’ve been a comics fan since I was able to read, and have a collection to show it. I’m not one of those guys who puts them in bags then puts them away forever. I keep my comics nearby and in easy to access boxes and containers so I can read them. I read my comics all the time, addict fashion. Usually I get my fix from buying large volumes of comics in bulk at cheap prices. Since moving to the states I’ve had to buy my comics in spurts, with no real hope of bulk discounts.
Sadly, I’ve been thrashing my fists against the amazon.com order status screen for months now as I wait for my copy of “The Dark Knight Stikes Again.” When I asked, rhetorically “where the heck is my copy!?!?!” a friend replied:
“lol! still being written, that’s where it is.”
Mr. Miller, are you still working on this, the last two issues have been excellent, so I can only hope this latest installment that is so very late is also as high caliber. Perhaps it is not. At this point I’d be happy with a two pager that opens with Supergirl wiping the moon with Brainiac and then smacking the crap out of Lex Luthor. Please Mr. Miller, get this next issue out soon!
Grand theft Auto 1 & 2 sucked
I thought I might say that right off the top to ensure that readers would know where I come from when I am speaking about the Grand Theft Auto Series.
I abhor the idea that there are games out there that glorify crime in the way that these games have done in the past. Add to that fact that the games went out of their way to insult the player and you have a formula for suck cess.
All that aside, I have to say that Grand Theft Auto Three (GTA3) is a major leap forward in the series in terms of fun; sadly not much in terms of content.
I have truly enjoyed being the misanthrope that I always wanted to be, thus far. Since I haven’t given much thought to the actual missions et al, I may have missed the real meat of the game. Perhaps not. In any measure, this game has been real fun and I suggest that any adult check it out. Please keep out of the hands of small children.
Presented for your entertainment and in no way meant to infringe upon the copyrighted materials we blatently rip off already: The Top Ten Most Shocking Revelations in Star Wars Episode Two: Attack of the clones!
10. Luke and Leia were not fathered by Darth Vader as previously revealed, but instead Padme was impregnated by a confused Obi-Wan just back from another “visit” to the bars on Corsuicant.
9. Mace Windu is more than just a bad ass Jedi, he also moonlights as a singer in Jabbas Pleasure Dome.
8. Bobba Fett is a clone.
7. Bobba Fett is not nearly as annoying as Annikan was as a child.
6. Smoking exists in the seedy unerworld of the Republic, however the PFY that pushes them does not have the force powers to push them.
5. Darth Sidious likes to arrange flowers and ballet dance in his spare time between enslaving politicians and kidnapping planets.
4. R2D2 Can climb stairs, fly and repair almost anything, but cannot look DOWN.
3. Ewan Macgregor is a surprisingly convincing Obi-Wan Kenobi, however what was more impressinve is when he played to dual role of Obi-Wan and the New queen of Naboo.
2. Lucas bought the rights to the “sound of music”
1. Anakin Skywalker was a know-nothing, loudmouth bitchy punk.
“For the first time ever, our end-of-the-year survey of heavy music buyers showed that 23 percent of our heaviest buyers actually said that they bought less music because they were able to get what they wanted for free,” said Hilary Rosen, chairman and CEO of the Recording Industry Association of America, which has led the legal fight against Napster and other file-sharing services. quoted from this article at CNN.com.
While it is just a quote in the middle of an “are the lables dead..no, no they are not sir” article; this quote is the kind of comment we can expect form someone who is fiercely fighting to keep a fat bottom line.
As the file sharing revolution continues its perceived assault on the RIAAs chattel, I mean artists, we can expect for and more of this propaganda, I’m sure.
Do you see what President Bush was up to on Earth Day? Hmm, Corporations can police themselves? Much like the MPAA, perhaps devotion to the public good like the RIAA has put forth?
Here is my first post as a legally married person. So yes, for those of you keeping score that is ony 4 and half years later than I should have gotten married.
The wedding went, umm, well. We had a civic ceremony presided over by what my parents called a “wee-free” minister which is a Church of Scotland protestant minister. This made my mother in law happy as she hates the whole idea that I’m Catholic, since she hates the Pope or something. Anyway, my wife was lovely and as usual there were cameras all over us. Since there are no pictures that I care to share with you here, I’ll just say that the dress was so nice that it looked like a million bucks, and Jenny made it look like a Billion.
As for married life, its much the same as living in sin, but now I can say “misses nitemayr, why is my server box offline” rather than “hey you, reboot that box!”
I’ll check in later, I’m sure.