The United States of Whatevs

ReturntoSuckassNumber one Search term on Google for the past 2 hours, “Return to Halloweentown”  it’s after 7pm all over the US right now.  It is literally past the bedtimes of the majority of the people using Google to search now.  Nice.  Also, how is it that saltpeter became so popular?  Did someone on TV suddenly discover how to make their teenage son stop masturbating at dinner?

Return to Halloweentown is a kids movie about a family of witches and their ongoing relationship with an alternate universe with rubbersuit monsters as the primary residents.  Said Halloweentown residents sometimes cross over and have adventures in the “real” world.  I know this because I have a sub-teen in my house and she watches these movies as if they are entertainment.  I know that if it isn’t Ernest Saves Hallowe’en it isn’t a good kids Hallowe’en movie.