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Tag: Hellboy

Yeah, Well I got a big Rocky FIST! *Smashes Troll*

If you’ve been under a rock and you’re not a member of the Extended Troll or Fairy family then you’ve been at least periferally aware that they made a movie where the Son of the Devil is the hero; and it doesn’t feature one song by Dio OR SlayerQ’uell Suprise!

Yup, your faithfull blogger has been to see a movie in an actual theatre with real people and a screen and everything.  A Chain theatre.  Let me go off on a tangent for a moment to fill you with the type of terror I was filled with when I sat in said Chain Theatre.  The SCREEN WAS NOT FILLED WITH PICTURES WHEN WE ARRIVED!!!! DUMM DUMM DUMM DUMMM!  The screen was about 7/8 filled with the ads and previews.  That’s it.  AND IT WAS BLURRY!!!! WOOOOOOooooooo!  Scary stuff, huh?  At Nine Buck a pop it was.  I was so worked up about it that if the screen had not become filled with sharp previews a full 10 minutes after we had arrived, I would have become PERTURBED!  Please consider this tangent complete, save this one point.  The “Dark Knight” line was empty.  There are enough nerds in London to justify two comic stores in walking distance from each other downtown, and they are neither of them failing, one had to move to a bigger location recently.  In a town that can support two busy comic stores SO CLOSE THAT THEY COULD TOUCH WEINERS, there should have been a line for The Dark Knight.  I think that says more about the Theater than the town.

Anyway, the Son of Satan is back with another hit and now he is not tethered by David Hyde Pierce!  We get all the Abe Sapien goodness with some heavy Hellboy asskicking; while Selma Blair pouts, looks cute but mixes it up as much as a woman in her condition should.  Now at this point you are saying to yourself, why is Kevin getting down on the Crazy?  Crazy heroes are the best!  I mean, Ambush Bug, the Creeper, CandleJack  the list goes on and on.  But hold on, I’m not getting down on the Crazy.  I love the Crazy and it’s twin the Zany.  They are not at issue.  I’m just saying that the action is great, the fights are awesome and even the wire-fu is weighty and meaty instead of fairy light and tepid.

Speaking of the Wire Fu.  Why does the clearly “European” Elf even know that particular type of wire-fu.  I could have accepted Savate or some kind of acrobatic fencing, but Kung-Fuy with a halbred?  C’Mon.  Not that the fighting was bad, but I half expected him to yell KeeeeyAAAAAA! Go Elf Prince and so on.

As for the Drama, the relationships on screen were great, there’s a great “guy” moment between Hellboy and Abe that has to be seen to be understood and Seth Mcfarlane does himself proud as the character with all the substance of a really good beer fart.

So, Yeah.  You should go see HellBoy 2; it’s GREAT.  Better than the first one by MILES!