I like working on the west coast, near the forests. It always rains here.
No one ever looks up.
I can leap from building to building, righting wrongs and so on, no one ever looks up and says “hey, up there in the sky, is that Superman?”
I’m not Superman, I’m not even Super-Dog, or Super-Horse, I’m just Hiram. Hiram the Secret Superman.
I’m also cripplingly shy and lose my powers when people see me using them. Seriously.
My powers only work when no one knows I’m using them. Super Strong, hell yeah, Invunerable, sure, Heat vision? Check. Telekinesis, you bet! Invisibility? No. There’s the rub. I can’t operate without being observed in most places, especially the big cities on the east coast and mid-west. There’s always a tourist looking up at the skyscrapers and saying “golly.” So I live on the West Coast. I love the rain and mostly work at night.
Some folks would wonder why I bother at all, my powers only work when I am working in secret, and I can’t even tell my best friend about it because he’d never believe me. He’d just say “Hiram, you’re drunk or high or something” if I insisted, he’d take me to a doctor and that would be it. My powers would never work again because someone, somewhere would know about it or question it and I’d be sunk.
It’s my secret though, and I feel great just flying around and throwing big heavy rocks around. It’s hard to find places to just cut loose and have been thinking about just flying off into space one day. Did I mention I can move at super speed too? Yeah. I got it all, except for Invisibility.
Here on the West Coast, it rains all the time and no one looks up. So I can put out fires with super breath and stop robbers with my mind. All without being seen. It’s great. The Crime rate has dropped to nearly half since I started operating out here. The criminals are spooked, but don’t know why and are convinced that they are all just running into bad karma (thank you Left Coast Mysticism!).
Yeah, the West Coast is great, for Hiram the Secret Superman.