Category Archives: Creative Work

Useful German phrases for Lovecraftian Lor

E: What is this? Are you a Squid?
G: Was ist dieses? Sind Sie ein Kalmar?

I am losing my mind. Are you very fond of that arm?
Ich verliere meinen Verstand. Sind Sie in diesen Arm sehr vernarrt?

What is that thing under the stairs?
Was ist diese Sache unter der Treppe?

This is not reality!
Dieses ist nicht Wirklichkeit!

Kindly remove me from this large enclosed bowl, for I am not amphibious!
Entfernen Sie mich bitte von dieser großen beiliegenden Schüssel, denn ich bin nicht amphibisch!

Have you met my fried c’thulu? He is truly a fine old fellow!
Haben Sie mein gebratenes c’thulu getroffen? Er ist wirklich ein feiner alter Gefährte!

Helpful Phrases for Hentai in German

“I’m sorry, but is that your tentacle in my underwear?”

Ich traurig, aber sind sind dieses tentacle in meiner Unterwäsche?

Please remove your giant penis like tounge from my room, it is quite disturbing!

Entfernen Sie bitte Ihren riesigen Penis wie tounge von meinem Raum, es stört durchaus!

I am smitten by your prowess with that sword, make love to me!

Ich smitten durch Ihre Fähigkeit mit dieser Klinge, bilde mir Liebe!

Are you a lesbian?

Sind Sie ein Lesbier?

Is that the famous former english prime minister Margret Thatcher?

Ist der der berühmte ehemalige englische Premierminister Margret Thatcher?

I've written a script or two

Laugh if you want. no, go ahead.

I’ve written a small shooting script or two in the past. I’ve always wanted to shoot a real low-budget flick. The whole shebang, actors, lights locations sets, music and all the rest of it. I’ve toyed with it so much I’ve went as far as trying to rope in performers and technical folks. This is how far it usually goes though…

Me: So you wanna make this flick then?
Co-Conspiritor: I was interested, but now I’m going to look at this shiny thing over here.

See what I mean?

Anyway, since I started actually paying attention to how movies are made, and less to just the stories, I actually started noticing how they are composed and portrayed. Commentary tracks on DVDs help out LOTS. Two movies stand out as really making art of their shots (in my opinion) and they might surprise some

Number One is PI: Here is a movie that blends the music to the mood to the action. The Camera is both OUR eye and the Eye inside the mind of the character. It was so compelling.

Number Two is 187: This is a “good teacher gets revenge on bad kids” story. Watch the camera work and sound on this, it is momentous.

Wholly TrueType Fontage!

This post is mostly being created to test the new dynamically created “lookalike” handwriting function that I’ve put into production here on the front page. I’m planning to go ahead and make this pull a ready-made png file from the hard drive rather than make it on the fly from here on, but…for now it creates this box on the fly.

I think I may have to make a “text only” version of this available as a link at the bottom of the page, but not yet.

Shibbeee!

I’ve made the change, the front page now loads the text as a static png file, instead of a dynamic file… ain’t technology grand?

now you can click on the button below to view this as text…. so if I post a URL you ar enot without access, Now, I’ll have to get busy on the rest of the colors and sections….

Kool Eh?

Tech Support Woes

There are many unfortunates out there who have been “cutting the ends of the brisket off”1 for so long that they never asked why.

1 This refers to an old story where a new bride asks why her husband always cut the ends off brisket before cooking. The husband says that his family has always done it this way. Eventually the bride asks her mother in law why, and her mother-in-law says that her mother always did it that way, so she kept up the tradition. So, the confused young bride goes to the hospital bed of her Grandma-in-law and asks, Grandma, why do you cut the ends off of the brisket? To which the Grandma replies, ”The pan was always a little too small”

Made with Love

It’s been a while since I made a personal update to the site and now I have made a new layout, locked out all the old user accounts and chnaged the whole site again, ain’t I a stinker?

The main reasoning behind the change is my need to flex my php and css muscles. While PHPnuke and PostNuke allow for flexable and attractive layouts, nothing says home made like a jabberwocky placed using an absolute tag in CSS. Yes, I used Adobe GoLive to get the site together. Yes, I use it for laying some stuff out. A wysiwyg editor for CSS layouts is a godsend for big stuff like text boxes, etc, but the graphics, etc, are laid out by hand in vi. So there.

If you haven’t yet, I suggest you check out Donnie Darko, quite a nice movie.

Lack of Writers forces Webmaster to Speak

After a long, long long delay in posting my next daring missive I’ve returned to put down my latest words on digital paper. As some of you may or may not know the Real World does exist and is not a fairy tale created by llamas who want to stop playing CounterStrike.

Sadly the real world (and not just the one one MTV) has rules, and one of those is that the ethereal world that is the Internet is fueled not just by fark and slashdot, but by money too. So, I, the webmaster, need to focus on my job as well as my website. Sad isn’t it?

And so I present, the Top Ten Reasons why webmasters neglect their Websites:

10. Pure Laziness, too busy stuffing our mouths with Mountain Dew and Cheetos!

9. Three Words, Never Winter Nights (I know it is normally two words)

8. Beer, and its buddy Liquor.

7. See number 8 and Repeat.

6. Locked up in a Tape Closet.

5. Stupid IE 6 Security Patches!!!

4. The Terrorists stole my keyboard. Or was it Swiper the Fox?

3. Innumerable showings of Star Wars Episode 2 or Spiderman, pick your poison.

2. That last peice of news about Natalie Portman, you know the one.

1. Grand Theft Auto 3.