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Category: Commentary

Teleporting Underpants killed the Toilet Paper Industry

I found this on Linkedin

This list annoyed me, mostly because it takes a conceit, then makes a list then makes the conceit fit.  The Conceit being people value customer service over other things (or at least it appears to, I’ll not try to determine if that was where things started, but it appears to be the case)

  1. Amazon didn’t win because of customer service.  Amazon is difficult to use if you aren’t already familiar with how the Internet works.  There are no sales people and no experts to tell you which is better when comparing things.  You have to seek that out.  Amazon is CHEAPER.  That’s where Amazon won.  It was cheaper than the store for pricey items and it’s fun to get things in the mail.
  2.  Netflix did kill Blockbuster; because it was more convenient to get DVDs in the mail and watch things online than it was to go to the store.  Notice that online game rental services aren’t really tearing up the charts though?  Yeah. but STEAM?  BUCKETS OF MONEY.  People like convenience, the late fees didn’t enter into it.  If Blockbuster wanted to win, they would have opened mini stores in theaters and sold downloads of the movies that people had just watched and upsold Physical copies with special features.- Also DOWNLOADING killed Blockbuster, free and convenient?  YES!
  3. Uber makes money by not having to pay for licensing and maintenance.  There.  That’s not success, that’s piracy.
  4. Apple didn’t invent singles, they negotiated the ability to sell them in a way that was convenient to people.  Again, being able to buy things without leaving the spot where you are is always going to be better than having to go to a store.  Had HMV made the same deal or better then Apple might still be the also ran they are.
  5. Air BnB is Uber for houses.  They sell you and make money from your property and you get some too.  Yay!

All of these things have the same thing in common, someone is able to achieve their goal without having to leave the spot they are sitting in.  When someone invents a viable teleporter you can wear as underwear people will buy it so they don’t have to leave the couch to drop a deuce.  You get me?

It’s not customer service that killed the toilet paper industry, it was teleporting underpants.

Some rules for a better life after High School

I’ve come across this list; it’s by Charles Sykes; not Bill Gates.  Bill Gates’ list is one entry “Be born to wealthy parents”

———-Whether  you like Bill Gates or not…this is pretty
cool. Here’s some advice Bill Gates recently dished out
at a high school speech about 11 things they did  not
learn in school. He talks about how  feel-good,
politically correct teaching has  created a full
generation of kids with no  concept of reality and how
this concept  sets them up for failure in the real
world.

RULE 1
Life  is not fair – get used to it.

RULE 2
The  world won’t care about your self-esteem. The world
will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you  feel
good about yourself.

RULE 3
You  will NOT make 40 thousand dollars a year right out
of high school. You won’t be a vice president with
car phone, until you earn  both.

RULE 4
If  you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a
boss. He doesn’t have tenure.

RULE 5
Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your
grandparents had a different word for burger flipping
they
called it Opportunity.

RULE 6
If  you mess up,it’s not your parents’ fault, so don’t
whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

RULE 7
Before you were born, your parents weren’t as boring as
they are now. They got that way from paying  your bills,
cleaning your clothes and  listening to you talk about
how cool  you are. So before you save the rain forest
from the parasites of your parent’s generation, try
delousing the closet in your own room.

RULE 8
Your  school may have done away with winners and losers,
but life has not. In some schools they have  abolished
failing grades and they’ll  give you as many times as
you want to  get the right answer. This doesn’t bear the
slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

RULE 9
Life  is not divided into semesters. You don’t get
summers off and very few employers are interested in
helping you find yourself. Do that on your own  time.

RULE 10
Television is NOT real life. In real life people
actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to  jobs.

RULE 11
Be  nice to nerds. Chances are you’ll end up working for
one.

I’ve written my own list below with Better Rules that aren’t written by someone who has forgotten how to live.

No a “Christian Pastor Sentenced To One Year In Prison” isn’t what it looks like

You might think that headlines like “Christian Pastor Sentenced To One Year In Prison” and “To One Year In Prison After Refusing To Marry Gay Couple” are all about the much-prophesied criminalization of being a Christ Fearin’ God-Botherer. However there is a note that appears in the story that explains why in the Case of “Paul Horner” the Crucifxes and pitchforks can be left aside:

The criminal investigation found out that the Christian Proctor Church is registered in the state as a “religious corporation” limited to performing “one-man-one-woman marriages as defined by the Holy Bible.” However, the church is also registered as a for-profit business; therefore, its owners must comply with state and federal laws.

HOWEVER, there was something tacked onto the story at NAIJ.COM a Nigerian website that I thought bore another look:

Not Adam and Steve... yes?
Not Adam and Steve… yes?

The Thing about this is it reminds me of something I saw on John Oliver

“Adam and Eve, Not Adam and Steve”

It’s right there in the image block; and a bit about how America is God’s own Country.

Where. oh where, would a series of Nigerians get that Idea I wonder?

 

All these things and a Dog named Robert

Backyard Mornings

Living in London has been rewarding for me; especially having my own house with my own yard and trees.  While I’m not outdoors-oriented in any way, I do enjoy my yard.  I enjoy it in the way a gentleman does, someone else picks up the poo, my mailbox is monitored by my household staff and my guard dog “Bob” keeps out the racoons.

At least I would if I had grounds, staff or a dog named bob.

Instead I get to sit in my house or yard; watch the bluejays and the cardinals in spring, fireflies in summer and chickadees in winter.

It’s not a bad life; to have a nice house in London.

Conservatives: The only plan is to cut taxes

Compare this quote:

Federal revenues as a percentage of GDP are near the lowest levels in more than 50 years of records posted by the government. Mr. Oliver was asked if that means federal taxes are now as low as they can go.

“I think we could do more,” Mr. Oliver replied. He noted that Canada’s debt in relation to the economy is low by international standards and will shrink from about a third of GDP to one quarter by the end of the decade. Mr. Oliver did not comment on the potential impact of rising interest rates on federal finances.

H/t “the globe and mail

To this famous quote:

I don’t want to abolish government. I simply want to reduce it to the size where I can drag it into the bathroom and drown it in the bathtub.

Grover Norquist

The only plan that Conservatives ever seem to come up with is “Cut Spending, Reduce Taxes” then let the rest sort itself out.  (I’m talking ‘fiscal‘ conservatives here) I place that in quotes as we can all accept that any number of the self-same people are fine with spending money on War and Spying on their own people.

But right after an expansion of Government and a pledge to go to war: another pledge by a Conservative to cut taxes.  How does this sound familiar?  Oh yes,  the year 2000.  George Bush Jr. took power, cut taxes and then plunged the USA into an economic downturn that was compounded by lax oversight of the economy (because these things will sort themselves out in the market, yes?)

So; Canada stands at the threshold, letting another Conservative government bankrupt the country while sending kids to die in the Middle East.  I don’t think the Liberals could do a worse job.

 

Road Testing Seniors

I was listening to the CBC this morning on my drive into work; I had just snagged my free morning coffee and was being informed by the pleasant newsvoices of the CBC morning drivetime hosts when they brought up the Ontario Government worrying over how to make Seniors stop driving when they are no longer capable.

I thought “That’s funny, just yesterday I watched and attempted to help a senior lady park.  She kept on bumping into things and failing” that’s a strange coincidence.

So, I can only imagine where this is going to go; depending upon how corrupt the Ministers involved are.

You see, road testing in Ontario is a private affair, meaning a private company profits from it.  This is the same private firm that has to turn a profit on a government level service.  I can see it now, mandatory re-testing with license renewal and since it’s a road test it’ll cost like 75-100 bucks minimum each time.  All in the name of safety.

The sad knock on from that is that with less drivers there would be less gas and road taxes.  The net effect being less money in the hands of the government in the form of consumption taxes and more cash in private hands.

You just know that the private testing firm won’t increase the numbers of testers in reaction either, it’ll plead overworked and just charge more.

Just you wait.