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The Book of Eli wasn’t totally crap!

I know I’m a few months late to the party on this; but forgive me my cash flow issues and I’ll forgive the turgid half-one you have for “Kick Ass” alright?

I already knew that the “Magic Book” in “The Book of Eli” was “The Bible” and if I’ve spoiled it for ya, oh well.  It’s the Bible (the single most printed volume in human history, or so I’ve been led to believe); and while I accept that post Nuclear War (that’s the catastrophe and spolier number two for this one) the people rose up as one and burned as many religious volumes as they could I can’t get over the possibility that all through the movie there was a member of the Gideons out there in Alaska sitting on a mountain of them giggling to himself.

Face it, excepting the shaky premise surrounding the book in question, the rest of the movie was fairly entertaining save for one point that only made sense at the end of the damn movie.

I spent the first oh, 87% of the  movie scoffing at how the hero was leaving so many women to die or be raped at the hands of road bandits.  How the writers had made this “righteous man” a pitiless road monster who left the semi-helpless to be victims of the miscreant army that roamed the Southland.

Knowing how it all comes out I’m gonna call it okay; dude was the hero but he really couldn’t save them, unless they were his co-star and they REALLY screamed hard.

It sounds worse than it is.


Also, the “Them” pay-off wasn’t really there.  We get a few furtive “are you one of them” references and it turns out “They” are cannibals and for the most part the most sane people in the damn movie.  Save for the people eatin’ and let’s face it (for those who have seen the whole thing) that scene could have ended in the best barbecue those folks had ever had.

Also, why put a timer on your trap C4 box?

Anyway, was it good?  Yeah, well made, engaging, great score, awesome visuals.  Would I put Mila Kunis in a movie like that?  Sure. Would I dress her up in travel combat gear and send her o hr way?  NO WAY, nuh uh.  What a stupid scene that was.

Check it out, it’s at least a rental for the very first fight scene if for nothing else.

Published inCurrent Events