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I’m an American. In order to attend the Olympics, I have to be stripped naked and groped in order to get on the airplane. Anything I do during this procedure that is not ordered by the goon squad is likely to have me arrested, where I can be strip searched again in Jail.

When and if I get on a plane, anything of value in my luggage, such as ipods, cameras, and laptops are likely to be stolen by the baggage handlers, who are not searched and groped by the TSA, apparently.

When and if I land in London, I’m likely to be searched again, what for, who the hell knows, but apparently it’s standard procedure. At this point, I discover I’ve been robbed, but there’s no way to file a claim, and yelling about it is just likely to get me arrested.

And when I attend the games, I’m going to be sued for using my eyes and brain as a copyright infringement device, assuming I haven’t shelled out for a new camera to replace the one that’s stolen. And I would have to post the pictures to the internet, because I can’t keep them in the flashcard of the camera, because that will be stolen on the return trip (or confiscated by customs).

Yeah, let me see… Nope, I don’t think I will be attending the games, or even watching on TV. Because who knows, they might sue me for watching it on TV. It’s going to happen sooner or later, who wants to be the first test case?

Tekrat on

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