Before:
Kevin was born on the mossy hills of Scotland and lived for a while in West Lothian before the mores of pre-Thatcher and REALLY pre-Oasis Great Britain sent his family across the ocean to North America. They moved here and there and Kevin did the same when he was old enough. Now he lives in London with his family and a Dog.
Kevin Wardrop is an amateur writer, amateur photographer and professional pain in the ass. He has worked in the PC support business for most of his adult life and has been accustomed to simply answering technical questions as a matter of fiat, it was his career choice after all. Now he herds cats and puppies for a living as well as babysitting the web enterprises at the heart of western industry.
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At the time of this writing “The Love Guru” is running at 15% at Rotten Tomatoes. I’ve written about how this movie is being held up as an example of Mike Myers’ descent into mediocrity. I don’t need to rehash any of what I said there about the man himself, but what to say about the movie?
In short, I laughed at it. It’s juvenile, it’s facile, but it’s funny. The Character “Guru Pitka” is juvenile, it’s what he does. He uses low-brow humor to put the people around him at ease. It’s the depth of this character that the critics are missing, they are trying to find a tortured clown in there and missing the joyful clown that the character is. One can only admire a character who is so unbound by the world that they can punch a little person with no obvious regret or misgivings. Would that we would all feel so free, especially in the way the two forgave each other immediatley.
Yes, it was improbable and often insulting, but it was Comedy! Real comedy. One Liners, penis jokes, fart jokes, Elephants Making Love in the Air Canada Centre! Why are people down on this movie? It’s a great “straight” comedy. No need for subtext or veneer, just obvious puns and slapstick, it’s acceptable when “new” comedians do it, right?
Perhaps that is why this movie has failed at the box office, it isn’t new. It’s familiar like an old shoe and perhaps old shoes aren’t what people want.
Another Kiss of Life from Spider-Man, originally uploaded by NiteMayr.
While Spidey is giving Jameson the Kiss of Life, the Spider-Man comics still continue their mad dash for crap-tacular!
I’m just not digging on the curent plot lines, it IS a nice change from Spidey seeing his wife banging Lobster man on the side, but only in as much as it isn’t as horrifying. I’m not enjoying seeing 20-something Peter Parker waffle from place to place with no real anchor or center to work around. It’s just not as much fun without a home life for him, you know?
The Unlimited Spider-Man should be the proving ground for Single Spider, not the mainline stories. It seems, however, that the Ultimate universe is mired in “here’s what’s happened already, compressed into a few years” so that newer readers come into line with long term readers.
Add to all of this the “Villain of the Week” line of rogues that have been popping up and Spider-Man has undergone a pointless reboot with no end in sight. Hurry up and undo this stupid reboot and get things back on track Marvel, please?
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The liability panic is adult nuttiness except when it’s not. It’s a fairly raw issue in Greenwich, where, for instance, a doctor was awarded $6.3 million a few years back when he broke his leg in two places while sledding with his 4-year-old son.
My friend Bryan Solgoode ruined the Big Toy for us all.
It feels good to say it out loud.
He was my friend and all, but only after the fact. He wasn’t my friend when he did it. It was his fault though, or more correctly, it was his mother’s fault for raising him as a crybaby. Bryan could probably crush your dreams of fatherhood with a stern look these days, but when he was young you could bring him to tears with a strong word. Thus Bryan destroyed the fun of childhood by being a giant slobbering wimp.
In the picture linked to this story, you see an open, vacant lot where a gigantic three tier, rope bridged behemoth of awesome once stood. It had swings, and ladders and sand and tire swings and a tower. Three stories tall! An amazing “Big Toy” by any accounting. I wish I had a picture of it to show you, but the fun police tore it down after Bryan “Big Baby” Solgoode fell off of it and hurt himself (through his own misadventure).
This was one of those Big Toys that would be called an attractive nuisance these days and be shut down so as to avoid lawsuits from crazed parents. I mean, they didn’t even have to pay for medical bills, he didn’t die! Years later, when involved in fights that cost a kid the use of his kidneys, Bryan didn’t have his legs cut off, did he? Nope, but because Bryan fell off of the biggest and best big toy in Kincardine, we all lose out. We keep losing out when something cool or fun is closed to avoid lawsuits.
Where does it all end?
When you lick an ice cream cone, a really really god ice cream cone, you get that inital soft scoop of it on your tongue and you pull it into your mouth. Curled there on top of your tonge, it melts and squishes around your mouth and teeth, you sometimes let it slide down your throat, half-melted. Other times you give it the once over in your mouth, seeking chunks of stuff in it, just in case. Then down it goes and you go for that next lick. Never quite as good as the first one, but always great. You catch the drips down the side and in the end you dispose of the cone last and then it’s all gone. Melted away down your throat and sometimes on your shirt or shorts. The last of the ice cream gone.
In the summer time, all the Ice Cream stands are open for business. They have big signs that implore you to come try their amazing flabors. Some sell Gelato or Sherbert, soft-serve or sundaes. They all want your money for their wares. Bored teenagers and flamboyant foreign men all vie for your dollars as the summer marches on.
In Scotland you can get a 99, which is a cone (usually soft-serve) with two chocolate bars stuck in it (Flakies) that give the eater a chance to choose betwen keeping the ice cream from melting and eating around the chocolate bars, or eating the chocolate first and running the risk having ice cream down your shirt. The choice was yours.
In Ontario (and other places I assume) we had no ice cream trucks, ratehr the Dickie Dee cart, which was a bike-cart deal that a surly teenage boy or a jubilant girl would push around the streets, ringing a series of bells. The reaction was the same as that to the Ice Cream truck, balls and toys would drop, aliens would go unfought, cobra commander’s final blow never landed and children would stream to the street with whatver cash they could get from their parents to buy some seriously overpriced frozen treats.
Then Summer would come to an end, and the Ice Cream stands would close, one by one. The last holdout left with a big tub of pralenes and cream and heavenly hash to sell. Hard. Icy. Bricklike. It was the last of the summer Ice Cream and it was still better than anything else, because it was the last of Summer.
Tomorrow, School.
Disclaimer: I am a fan of comics, a serious fan of comics and overall a fan of the WANTED comic. My opinions are going to be skewed and should not be taken as the sanction or prohibition of a sane reviewer.
EDIT: Check out a graphic representation of why The Comic is Superior
Let me first state three impressions I got from this film overall, the director loves slow motion, Glass breaks into little squares when people run through it and script consistency was not job #1 when the final shooting script was used.
For example, we are treated to a superhuman display of speed and agility by someone who were are initially led to believe is one of only two people with said magical skills in the movie. However, later in the film it is revealed that this person is not one of the two. While it is demonstrated that “Sloan” has some skills, only James McAvoy’s character is supposed to be in possesion of said magical killing abilities. Why then in the twist do we find out that the character of the dead man is not whom we are told he is, thereby negating the “only two people” line from earlier? Perhaps I misheard it?
Angelina Jolie can look as if she wants to eat children if she holds her head a certain way, in the first scene with Angelina Jolie she makes a kind of concerned/concentration face that lets me fully believe that she is a hardened comic villain. It’s too bad the story strays so far from the comic, as her character is totally wasted. (literally)
I am aware that Mark Millar was enthusiastic about the film; but this is one of those situations where the creator and the fans might have to disagree. “Wanted” the film is a great ation film, but the loss of the “evil” parts of Wesley’s training and the total loss of the wanton violence and wonder of the Super Villains makes the movie less entertaining than the book. I like the movie, but loved the book.
I didn’t think “Wanted” was horrible, and enjoyed the action, but won’t recommend it over the book. If you are in the mood for a hard action movie with a great deal of visual flair, by all means, check it out. If you are a fan of the book, don’t go into it expecting too much.
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The Nerd Frog March
Published by NiteMayr on July 11, 2008I know that Karl Rove is kind of the Nerd Ascendant, a nerd who overcame Nerd Rage, got the Jock Assholes on his side and rose to a position of nearly untouchable privilege. It still kinds wanna see him go down though. He always comes off like he’s really ahead of the game, when all he really is doing is hiding behind his Jock Asshole friend and calling the other kids names. In any other situation he’d be doing 3-10 in the Pen and we’d all be talking about the Political Machievelli of Wormsuch or something.
He (Karl Rove) is just riding the wave of his friend’s popularity to the end, using all of his hard won Jock contacts to the very end. For that, I kind of admire him, he overcame his Nerd impulses and got in good with the Frat-Boys and the Jock Assholes. That’s something that most Nerds will never manage, the real crossing of the aisles from Nerd Nobody to Jock’s Friend.
But, Yes SUH, I want to see him Frog Marched in front of the Congress and forced to, under oath, lie to the whole world about what he has done in office. You think he’ll tell the truth? This is all theatre so he can say, “I don’t recall” over and over.
You’d think the American Public would wake up and start voting with their heads some day and finally elect a third party in serious numbers.
Anyway, Go Karl. Prove your innocence by running from testimony and acting like anything you have to say bears any value to the security of the US of A.