Category: Current Events

BOEHNER: We want this stand-off to end. We have a few conditio-

OBAMA: You can go fuck yourself. Every minute that goes by engenders more and justified hatred of your party. Come back when your conditions include funding the government, reducing the debt by selling a bare-knuckle boxing match between yourself and Ted Cruz on pay-per-view, getting the privilege to kiss my ass publicly every day for the remainder of my term, and Rand Paul has to touch a dead squirrel. [mike drop] Today 7:41pm

Lisi has a lengthy record of interaction with police including convictions for threatening and assaulting women. He has acted as an occasional driver and security guard for the mayor, showing up the morning the crack video scandal broke and shadowing the mayor as reporters sought comment.

At the National Institutes of Health, nearly three-quarters of the staff was furloughed. One result: director Francis Collins said about 200 patients who otherwise would be admitted to the NIH Clinical Center into clinical trials each week will be turned away. This includes about 30 children, most of them cancer patients, he said.

This is all about stopping a law that increases taxes on rich people and reduces subsidies to private insurers in Medicare in order to help low-income Americans buy health insurance. That’s it. That’s why the Republican Party might shut down the government and default on the debt.