Category: Current Events

I am entitled to be a senator from P.E.I. I meet all the constitutional requirements. There is nothing in the rules anyway that says how much time you should spend on P.E.I.

When the channel started in 2011, Sun News claimed that it would never demand the Canadian Radio-Television Telecommunications Commission (CRTC) make it part of the mandatory basic cable package, as it would be a tax on all Canadians. But now the right-wing cable company is doing just that, casting off its supposed free-market principles in a bold bid to push its ideology into every Canadian household. Effectively, this “tax” paid for by Canadian cable subscribers would amount to a public subsidy of $20 million dollars per year even though its parent company, Quebecor, is the biggest newspaper owner in Canada. The CRTC will decide to approve or reject Sun News’ petition in a week.

From now on, people who frequently claim EI are expected to accept any job for which they’re qualified, within 100 kilometres of home, as long as the pay is 70 per cent of their previous salary.

They’re talking to us. George [Lucas] wanted to know whether we’d be interested. He did say that if we didn’t want to do it, they wouldn’t cast another actor in our parts – they would write us out. … I can tell you right away that we haven’t signed any contracts. We’re in the stage where they want us to go in and meet with Michael Arndt, who is the writer, and Kathleen Kennedy, who is going to run Lucasfilm. Both have had meetings set that were postponed — on their end, not mine. They’re more busy than I am.

Do me a favor. The next couple of days when you go into work, pat a co-worker on the back. Then, after you’ve established you’re a back-patter, pat him or her on the butt instead.

Notice how you’re now sitting through a sexual harassment seminar? That’s because the buttocks are an erogenous zone, just like nipples. Now, I’m not saying that parents who spank their children are doing it with erotic intent, of course. But I would suggest that if you wouldn’t put a clothespin on your kid’s nipple for misbehaving, maybe think twice about applying pain to another erogenous zone.

I know, you got mild torture on your erogenous zone when you were a kid, and you grew up just fine, and the problem with kids today is no one is torturing their erogenous zones, I get it. But maybe we should think twice about the whole erogenous-zone-torture thing.

OBEY
MARRY AND REPRODUCE
NO INDEPENDENT THOUGHT
CONSUME
WATCH TV
THIS IS YOUR GOD

Forget about the contest, Google just has to get Rowdy Roddy Piper as their spokesman. And by “spokesman”, I mean having him personally pick fights with people in alleyways to get them to wear the glasses…