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Category: Movies

Review: Wall-E

Published by NiteMayr on September 16, 2008

Wall-E

A Walmart Brand robot develops a personality and deep emotional problems after 700 years of cleaning up world-covering garbage that appears to have miraculously avoided all advertising and signage

My rating: 2.5 stars
**1/2

Wall-E is one of those movies that people love to gush over; where a cute something with no voice of it’s own falls in love with the notion of love and then overcomes everything just to get his limited groove on.  Sometimes there is dancing, sometimes there is singing, sometimes there is some chaste kissing; however it is always stulifying and boring.  Great for the kids, right?

Let me summarize Wall-E for those of you who have not seen it or refuse to do so, as you are principled people who don’t need Cartoon Robots to feel good about

Hello Dolly Song !

Fly-in through Garbage

There’s alot of Garbage

More Garbage, set to Hello Dolly Tune

Big Wall-E! Big Wall-E

Fat People all over the place

Fat Babies!

More Garbage

Hello Dolly Tune

End.

I don’t know if that is what some people took from it, but that’s about it for me. There was no there, there.  Even for a kids movie, this was pretty pointless.  Pixar has been pretty good about avoiding the “Song And Dance” methodology of Disney flicks, but only through having soundtrack montages and so on.  It’s still a baseless little story about a crazy robot who wants nothing more than to “hold hands” with someone.  It’s like American Pie, without the Stiffler or the Shannon Elizabeth.

The empty story is dressed in some nice clothes, but it’s fairly empty.  I know the guys at Pixar worked very hard to build pathos for Wall-E; but in the end he is just a malfunctioning robot who has become obsessed with fulfilling his own dreams.  Wall-E isn’t saving humanity, that’s not even in his scope, he’s obsessed with achieving the one thing that he has built up over years of watching Hello Dolly over and over, holding hands.  At least Eve focuses on her actual function over self-gratification.

The Animation is passable, but it’s not ground-breaking for 3D animation and does little to further 3D movies as an artform or medium.   I didn’t find any portion of the film to be breathtaking (save breathtakingly stupid or vapid)  and I couldn’t get over the details that ruined the whole premise.  Why would the robot repair all of the advertising but not dig up all the garbage from around it?  Why does the robot “go back” to his house rather than move to closer to his work site? Why didn’t the robot build a wind-proof baffle around his little home so that he could leave the door open?  Why didn’t he build a shelter for Eve? These little things detracted from the experience, it’s just poor storytelling when you can actually visually build anything and don’t simply solve these little logical problems right there on film.

Wall-E is a film about garbage that barely rises above it’s oeuvre.  I’d say it’s okay for the kids, but only the youngest seem to want to watch it over and over.  Go watch Monsters Inc. or Iron Giant instead, there’s a movie with real heart and emotion.

Review: It won't be easy to Forget Jason Segel

Published by NiteMayr on August 11, 2008

Forgetting Sarah Marshall

Jason Segel plays Peter, who is trying to get over his five-year relationship with TV and Film Star Sarah Marshal (Played by Kristen Bell). On the boucen, he decides to visit a resort his Ex loved, where he runs into HIS EX and her new Boyfriend (the Cool and English Aldous Snow).

I love a good romantic comedy, it’s true. I really do. Forgetting Sarah Marshall sets a new high bar for Romantic Comedy, simply by taking the trenchant and making it real. There is a fellatio joke (or two), but instead of being a gag, they are the kinds of jokes we tell each other and situations that we really might find ourselves in.

Peter (Segel) is sensitive and attentive, but unmotivated. Sarah (Bell) is an up and coming film and TV star who wants to move ahead and leave behind the slacker lifestyle Peter has fallen into, resting on his laurels.

Peter takes the news that Sarah has moved on (and into the bed of someone else) very hard, going out to seek meaningless relationships and revenge sex. Being unfulfilled by his efforts, Peter decides (at the encouragement of his Step-Brother (Bill Hader is awesome in this flick) to go on Vacation. Peter, in a foolish move, decides to go to the very resort that his Ex has stated was her favorite.

In predictable, but still entertaining fashion Peter and Sarah meet at the resort. Typical Boy-Loses-Girl-to-rock-star hilarity ensues. Aldous Snow (played by Russel Brand) is cool and thoughtless, playing the easy-going rock star of the new Millennium with an aplomb that make the character a stand-out an memorable feat.

Also don’t miss Jack McBrayer and Maria Thayer as a recently Married couple coming to grips with the fact that they are Religious Virgins who never thought to learn about the birds and the bees before they went on their honeymoon. Utterly magnificent. I cannot recommend “Fogetting Sarah Marshall” more.

My rating: 4.5 stars
****1/2

The dialogue is utterly quotable:

“Oh, the weather outside is weather”

“When life gives you lemons, just say ‘Fuck the lemons,’ and bail. “

“Are those sad tissues or happy tissues? “

“Oh, if they were Sean Jean sweatpants it would be no problem, but because they were Costco brand, it’s the worst thing I could do.

” He turned down a blow job from his ex-girlfriend… mid-blowjob. You know how hard that is for a man? It’s called blue balls. He’s like Gandhi! But better – he likes puppets!

See, GOLD, Pure Gold. All delivered with honesty and without affect. When someone does break the fourth wall, it’s done with ease and class (see Jason Segel do it when urged to jump into the water by super Pixie Love interest Mila Kunis)

My one and only Criticism; the love interest Mila Kunis. Awesome portrayal, I could see falling for Mila Kunis (in modern makeup she’s actually a fairly really pretty girl , but I’m kind of tired of the “different” girl who busts the sensitive guy out of his shell routine. It’s not bad or contrived, but I’m just tired of it. Mila is great and her performance (along with the rest of the supporting cast) is great. I just want something else out of a Romantic Comedy.

Review: The Dark Knight

Published by NiteMayr on July 21, 2008

I’ve had some time to consider “The Dark Knight” and to get over the whole “No More Joker like that” feeling that it left me with when it was over; time to consider the whole put some thought into its merits and failings.

Gotham Itself

Foremost in those Merits is the Art/Photography.  The whole film feels like it was filmed on Location, instead of a series of sets.  Where Movies like “X-Men 3” felt like the scale of the film should have been epic and was instead tabletop sized; a movie about the conflict between two men was so grand in scale and broadly shot with sweeping backdrops.  It was masterful; as I stated earlier Gotham was shot as another character in the film without gaudy makeup and CGI flourish.   It was a welcome change.  The “Batcave” was also exceptional; instead of the visual cacphany of the traditional Batcave we are treated to a spartan and functional HQ that serves as the home of the Batman.  Did anyone else notice how BRIGHT the “Batcave” was?  It wasn’t until the Lights went off at the Batcave that things really got down to business; which I imagine was the metaphor that ran through the whole movie.

Alfred

Speaking of unvarnished Characters; Alfred gets a back story in this film that precludes some of his own history.  He has served the Wayne Family for how long?  He used to be a mercenary/soldier in where?  Hmmm.  It seems that a former soldier might not take to the life of a butler as readily as the former actor.  Can we get a nice firm Public School Education and life of service in place for Alfred and just leave it there?  Please?  Michael Caine was (as ever) a fine character actor; he has settled into the “wise older guy/father figure” role very well.  The next man to fill the role after Mr. Caine will have trouble shaking the dignified and meaty role that Michael Caine has carved from Alfred.  Not Camp. not “Fussy School Marm”, just a Man’s Man who happens to be a butler.

Rachel Dawes

Maggie Gyllenhall; gah.  I think I just don’t like her as an actor.  Sure, she is more of a character than Katie Holmes carried in “Batman Begins” but only because she pouts and acts more upset with Bruce Wayne than in the former.  I jsut don’t buy her as a lawyer, she seems far to passive to be a real lawyer, especially as an Assistant DA.  Speaking of that; why isn’t Rachel the DA?  She has Bruce Wayne backing her for gosh’s sake.  That is kind of emblematic of the uneven writing that makes Rachel so poor; she motivates two big characters but isn’t self-motivating.  She just reacts and her biggest moment comes. <spoiler>post-mortem</spoiler> which kind of sucks for the actress.  She scores her points by looking alternatively annoyed, scared or sad.

Harvey Dent/Two-Face

Aaron Eckhart; Harvey Dent.  What can be said about the blonde-haird blue-eyed Harvey Dent that wasn’t repeated over and over again in the press about him all over Gotham?  Gotham’s white knight!  The guys on the force had another name for him: “Two Face”.  The only thing is that they don’t establish WHY they called him Two Face; only that he was called it behind his back.  If I remember correctly; in some far-off corner of my mind there was a portrayal of Harvey that showed him being bad-ass in private; thus showing the schism in his personality up front.  Aaron tries to demonstrate this schism on screen, in a hoarse scream that appears as if by magic at points; but I don’t think his performance was strong enough.  It was good; but not great.

The Joker / The Batman

I give Christian Bale and Heath Ledger equal billing here.  They are as much the same character as the source material allows.  In the comics; other heroes will often decry that Batman will always go over the edge and too far when solving the world’s problems.  The opposite is true; of course, The Batman doesn’t ever go too far; he is always prepared and has planned this out.  The same is true for the Joker; who WANTS to be caught and stopped by The Batman.  The Batman and The Joker occupy the same space; with both seeking to make the world see things and do things their way.  The Joker might be doing it for the Lulz, but it’s still the same psychology that drives them.   “The Dark Knight” does a great deal to illustrate that neither the Joker nor The Batman gamble and both seem to have all the angles covered.  The conflict that ensues is epic; if not exhausting.  The yawning physical gulf between the two characters (demonstrated through sweeping helicopter shots showing each character’s approach to looking over the city) is also lost when you can see how close the two man are to each other.  They are shadowy men with pasts that are known only to their intimates.  It seems that the only thing that keeps The Batman from being The Joker are those around him.  All of this is beautifully portrayed by both actors; with Bale continuing to play his “Patrick Bateman” Bruce Wayne to great effect.  Heath Ledger pulls in a performance of the Joker that reaches new highs that I don’t imagine would be easily eclipsed.

Continue readingReview: The Dark Knight

Da-Da Da-Da Da-Da Da-Da Da-Da Dead Man!

Published by NiteMayr on July 19, 2008

Yeah, that was tasteless.

I’m actually fairly bummed about “The Dark Knight,”  It was WAY too good.   Far too good.  If it had been less of a film; the craft of it less so.  I could have walked away and just said, “Another Batman flick, good stuff!” maybe swanned on about the effects and the characters.  Aaron Eckhart was great as Harvey Dent, The Ken Doll DA of Gotham; his fate sealed on film.  Christian Bale flexed and burned on film, with a clean line between “Bruce” and “The Bat”  Maggie Gyllenhaal did her best to make want her to die on film.  And Heath Ledger?  You mean, THE JOKER?  Well, Heath has pretty much defined the film version of the Joker.  It will take a RADICAL re-imagining to take the Joker to anything higher than the bar set in this film.

However, I have strayed from my point.

The film was too good.  So it was tragic.

Alas, that is the essense of REAL Art, isn’t it.  Art is fleeting and all else is commerce.  Now we get a “Joker” on film who really lives up to the Joker from “The Killing Joke” a moralist with no consience or heart.

All for just 152 minutes.  Those last 152 min are the best.

Yeah, Well I got a big Rocky FIST! *Smashes Troll*

Published by NiteMayr on July 17, 2008

If you’ve been under a rock and you’re not a member of the Extended Troll or Fairy family then you’ve been at least periferally aware that they made a movie where the Son of the Devil is the hero; and it doesn’t feature one song by Dio OR Slayer.  Q’uell Suprise!

Yup, your faithfull blogger has been to see a movie in an actual theatre with real people and a screen and everything.  A Chain theatre.  Let me go off on a tangent for a moment to fill you with the type of terror I was filled with when I sat in said Chain Theatre.  The SCREEN WAS NOT FILLED WITH PICTURES WHEN WE ARRIVED!!!! DUMM DUMM DUMM DUMMM!  The screen was about 7/8 filled with the ads and previews.  That’s it.  AND IT WAS BLURRY!!!! WOOOOOOooooooo!  Scary stuff, huh?  At Nine Buck a pop it was.  I was so worked up about it that if the screen had not become filled with sharp previews a full 10 minutes after we had arrived, I would have become PERTURBED!  Please consider this tangent complete, save this one point.  The “Dark Knight” line was empty.  There are enough nerds in London to justify two comic stores in walking distance from each other downtown, and they are neither of them failing, one had to move to a bigger location recently.  In a town that can support two busy comic stores SO CLOSE THAT THEY COULD TOUCH WEINERS, there should have been a line for The Dark Knight.  I think that says more about the Theater than the town.

Anyway, the Son of Satan is back with another hit and now he is not tethered by David Hyde Pierce!  We get all the Abe Sapien goodness with some heavy Hellboy asskicking; while Selma Blair pouts, looks cute but mixes it up as much as a woman in her condition should.  Now at this point you are saying to yourself, why is Kevin getting down on the Crazy?  Crazy heroes are the best!  I mean, Ambush Bug, the Creeper, CandleJack  the list goes on and on.  But hold on, I’m not getting down on the Crazy.  I love the Crazy and it’s twin the Zany.  They are not at issue.  I’m just saying that the action is great, the fights are awesome and even the wire-fu is weighty and meaty instead of fairy light and tepid.

Speaking of the Wire Fu.  Why does the clearly “European” Elf even know that particular type of wire-fu.  I could have accepted Savate or some kind of acrobatic fencing, but Kung-Fuy with a halbred?  C’Mon.  Not that the fighting was bad, but I half expected him to yell KeeeeyAAAAAA! Go Elf Prince and so on.

As for the Drama, the relationships on screen were great, there’s a great “guy” moment between Hellboy and Abe that has to be seen to be understood and Seth Mcfarlane does himself proud as the character with all the substance of a really good beer fart.

So, Yeah.  You should go see HellBoy 2; it’s GREAT.  Better than the first one by MILES!

Defending Eddie Murphy

Published by NiteMayr on July 15, 2008

“Coming from ‘Saturday Night Live’ and doing stand-up, I’ve always done multiple characters,” he tells Thea. “I’ve always mixed it up at the movies; it’s kind of what I do.”

“I really like it when you don’t know who it is,” he beams. “Like if I do something and you watch the movie, and afterwards you’re like, ‘Hey, you know that old lady was him’ — and they’re like, ‘What?!!!'”

Eddie says the new movie, also starring Gabrielle Union and Elizabeth Banks, is very “sweet and funny” and kid-friendly.

–Eddie Murphy: Inside the head of ‘Meet Dave’

That last quote contains the death knell that tolled for Eddie Murphy “Kid-friendly”  now, that death-knell sounded out its dull “Bong” years ago.  It was heard right in the middle of “Doctor Dolittle 2” for me, it may have been around the time “Beverly Hills Cop 3” came out I’m not sure.  Yes, “Pluto Nash” was crap on film.  Let me say that again, “Pluto Nash” was so bad it might have actually killed Randy Quaids career altogether.  That movie was a horrible pox on the movie industry.  “Norbit” was better than “Pluto Nash” do you know why?  Eddie Murphy could curse in it.

I can sum up what makes Eddie Murphy funny by quoting Eddie Murphy in “The Absent Minded Professor”: “Shit Locks!”

The whole Dave Chappelle sequence was AWESOME!  Larry miller coming down on him in outrageous terms was great!

Eddie Murphy is failing the exact opposite reason Mike Myers if failing.  Mike Myers is being bounced because he is still falling back on his punny, schticky humor and Eddie Murphy is failing because he stopped being filthy and started being startlingly kid focused.  Even “Norbit” was all about kids, in a way.

In a word of advice to Mr. Murphy, no one under the age of 30 really remebers “Raw” or “Delirious”.  If you don’t get out there and remind us of the filthy but genius Eddie Murphy we loved, you are going to be box office poison from now on.

Review: Love Guru

Published by NiteMayr on July 11, 2008

At the time of this writing “The Love Guru” is running at 15% at Rotten Tomatoes.  I’ve written about how this movie is being held up as an example of Mike Myers’ descent into mediocrity.  I don’t need to rehash any of what I said there about the man himself, but what to say about the movie?

In short, I laughed at it.  It’s juvenile, it’s facile, but it’s funny.  The Character “Guru Pitka” is juvenile, it’s what he does.  He uses low-brow humor to put the people around him at ease.  It’s the depth of this character that the critics are missing, they are trying to find a tortured clown in there and missing the joyful clown that the character is.  One can only admire a character who is so unbound by the world that they can punch a little person with no obvious regret or misgivings.  Would that we would all feel so free, especially in the way the two forgave each other immediatley.

Yes, it was improbable and often insulting, but it was Comedy!  Real comedy.  One Liners, penis jokes, fart jokes, Elephants Making Love in the Air Canada Centre!  Why are people down on this movie?  It’s a great “straight” comedy.  No need for subtext or veneer, just obvious puns and slapstick, it’s acceptable when “new” comedians do it, right?

Perhaps that is why this movie has failed at the box office, it isn’t new. It’s familiar like an old shoe and perhaps old shoes aren’t what people want.

Review: Wanted (the movie) Vs Wanted (the comic)

Published by NiteMayr on July 10, 2008

Disclaimer: I am a fan of comics, a serious fan of comics and overall a fan of the WANTED comic.  My opinions are going to be skewed and should not be taken as the sanction or prohibition of a sane reviewer.

EDIT: Check out a graphic representation of why The Comic is Superior

Let me first state three impressions I got from this film overall, the director loves slow motion, Glass breaks into little squares when people run through it and script consistency was not job #1 when the final shooting script was used.

For example, we are treated to a superhuman display of speed and agility by someone who were are initially led to believe is one of only two people with said magical skills in the movie.  However, later in the film it is revealed that this person is not one of the two.  While it is demonstrated that “Sloan” has some skills, only James McAvoy’s character is supposed to be in possesion of said magical killing abilities.  Why then in the twist do we find out that the character of the dead man is not whom we are told he is, thereby negating the “only two people” line from earlier?  Perhaps I misheard it?

Angelina Jolie can look as if she wants to eat children if she holds her head a certain way, in the first scene with Angelina Jolie she makes a kind of concerned/concentration face that lets me fully believe that she is a hardened comic villain.  It’s too bad the story strays so far from the comic, as her character is totally wasted. (literally)

I am aware that Mark Millar was enthusiastic about the film; but this is one of those situations where the creator and the fans might have to disagree.  “Wanted” the film is a great ation film, but the loss of the “evil” parts of Wesley’s training and the total loss of the wanton violence and wonder of the Super Villains makes the movie less entertaining than the book.  I like the movie, but loved the book.

I didn’t think “Wanted” was horrible, and enjoyed the action, but won’t recommend it over the book.    If you are in the mood for a hard action movie with a great deal of visual flair, by all means, check it out.  If you are a fan of the book, don’t go into it expecting too much.

Review: Wild Hogs

Published by NiteMayr on July 6, 2008

I get the feeling that the producer was sitting in his Valley living room, thinking that he should finally make that Gay Sex Farce he’d been planning to make for years and said to himself (or herself I didn’t check) that they should forget about using twinks and go straight for middle aged actors.  When they couldn’t get real middle aged porn actors to star in their Gay Sex Farce, they decided to call in some Scilon help and cast John Travolta.

One 70s star doesn’t really make a great Gay Sex Farce, so they decided to cast another actor who had (under duress) looked for comfort in the arms of another man.  That way they would have at least one Camp actor and one “Butch” actor in the bunch.  Then they hired a nerd and a black guy to round out the cast.

So, with a cast in place an a loose plot involving a road trip for middle aged motorcycle enthusiasts escaping their wives for the week and discovering their intimate feelings ROAD HOGS, the Gayest Gay joke ever was in production.  Except the title was changed to Wild Hogs so it would not be so obviously Gay.

The whole movie seems to be one long Gay Joke, I’d have taken it for a Gay Sex Farce if it wasn’t for the fact that the Gay part is treated as if it is poisonous radioactive waste, instead of a campy joke.  If I remember correctly this film-opus to the Carry-On films was number one in the box office when it was released.  It was only pushed out of the top spot by “300” where shirtless Spartans opiled up and beat an army sensless with their pecs for a couple of hours.

I have to admit that I had a couple genuine laughs during this, much as I did during “Norbit” but this really was a fairly crappy, homophobic pile of crap.  I think that one might have to take leave of their senses to spend money on this one.  Avoid, watch the Carry On films instead, at least the Camp Sex Farces are kind of funny.