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Defending Eddie Murphy

“Coming from ‘Saturday Night Live’ and doing stand-up, I’ve always done multiple characters,” he tells Thea. “I’ve always mixed it up at the movies; it’s kind of what I do.”

“I really like it when you don’t know who it is,” he beams. “Like if I do something and you watch the movie, and afterwards you’re like, ‘Hey, you know that old lady was him’ — and they’re like, ‘What?!!!'”

Eddie says the new movie, also starring Gabrielle Union and Elizabeth Banks, is very “sweet and funny” and kid-friendly.

–Eddie Murphy: Inside the head of ‘Meet Dave’

That last quote contains the death knell that tolled for Eddie Murphy “Kid-friendly”  now, that death-knell sounded out its dull “Bong” years ago.  It was heard right in the middle of “Doctor Dolittle 2” for me, it may have been around the time “Beverly Hills Cop 3” came out I’m not sure.  Yes, “Pluto Nash” was crap on film.  Let me say that again, “Pluto Nash” was so bad it might have actually killed Randy Quaids career altogether.  That movie was a horrible pox on the movie industry.  “Norbit” was better than “Pluto Nash” do you know why?  Eddie Murphy could curse in it.

I can sum up what makes Eddie Murphy funny by quoting Eddie Murphy in “The Absent Minded Professor”: “Shit Locks!”

The whole Dave Chappelle sequence was AWESOME!  Larry miller coming down on him in outrageous terms was great!

Eddie Murphy is failing the exact opposite reason Mike Myers if failing.  Mike Myers is being bounced because he is still falling back on his punny, schticky humor and Eddie Murphy is failing because he stopped being filthy and started being startlingly kid focused.  Even “Norbit” was all about kids, in a way.

In a word of advice to Mr. Murphy, no one under the age of 30 really remebers “Raw” or “Delirious”.  If you don’t get out there and remind us of the filthy but genius Eddie Murphy we loved, you are going to be box office poison from now on.

You'll have to excuse my lack of posts

I’ve been short on ideas and energy these past couple of days.  I thought I had a winning idea for a short story this morning, but I’ve forgotten it between the shower and coming into the shack this morning.

Speaking of this morning, we tried to fix an impact printer today.  I was difficult, mostly due to the lack of instantaneous feedback and access to print queues.  Even though we performed the physical repair of the unit, I don’t think we actually fixed it.  Which doesn’t do much for my customer’s confidence in us nor own own sense of self-worth.

In terms of disclosure; here are some ideas that I didn’t write about over the past couple of days:

  • Since I defended Mike Myers, why don’t I defend Edie Murphy too?
  • Why I liked the US version of “Pulse”
  • Post-Armageddon Kids and the death of Reason (Short Story idea that just came back to me)
  • GM and Canada, why does corporate investment by a government not come with strings like “you have to keep these jobs in the country”?
  • My Parking Ticket.

So, yeah, ideas I have now.  The will to put finger to key on all of them?  I have to form the ideas around them first.

Oh, yeah (the revisions feature of 2.6 is Boss)

I laughed so very hard at this complaint

Complaint #211

“Finish this list for me, Dan Brown: Angels and Demons, The DaVinci Code, and _______.  Don’t think your fans have forgotten that you owe us a third book.  We’re waiting.”

-Whine by Toby Glenn

You can almost hear the prissy voice behind this one saying “get to work MISTER BROWN, I don’t have enough religious intrigue in my life right now!”

Former disgruntled Alter Server?

Seminary student gone bad?

Middle aged and bored with all the high-end prose on the Oprah book club list?

We may never know.

Ed Kruk Loves America Like Hong Kong Loves tibet

My name is Ed Kuck and I am the web master of this website that has received so much attention in recent days. I am 70 years old and a veteran with more than 20 years of service in the United States Air Force. I have been married to my lovely wife, Rumpa, for 35 years. Rumpa was born and raised in Thailand and became a United States citizen after we were married. Together we have two bi-racial children of which we are very proud. One is honorably serving our country while our youngest is still in high school.
Hey Ed,  from my count, you married Rumpa when you were 35.  From age 18-35 you had ever opportunity to marry an American Woman!  What was wrong with America then?  Huh?  35 years ago, A Thai woman?  Probably met during that long forgotten conflict in Asia?  Why were you in Thailand?  And why did she leave when democracy came to Thailand?  Don’t you love Democracy?  Ed?  Do you REALLY love America, or do you just live there for tax purposes?

According you Ed, this isn’t Racist: “Obama loves America like O.J. loved Nicole
When I put up the controversial slogan on my website, it didn’t even dawn on me that the comment could be perceived as racist. When I first saw the slogan, the thought that immediately came to mind was that this was a statement about love and hate. I found that icon during a time when I was watching Reverend “God Damn America” Wright on television. I was angry that a Presidential candidate who professes his love for America had been sitting through 20 years of sermons by a man who said, “the United States brought on the 9-11 attacks with its own terrorism,” “America’s chickens have come home to roost,” and “the government lied about inventing the HIV virus as a means of genocide against people of color.” How could you love America and sit through that garbage? I love America, and darn it, I would have stood up and walked out! Obama refused to denounce his Pastor until his polling numbers started to take a nose-dive.

So, something some Pastor said justifies your attack on Obama, not anything Obama said or did.  Just something his Pastor said.  I imagine that your friends in the Republicans should be expected to expel you from the group now?  I mean, you said bad stuff and married a foreigner, clearly they should publicly denounce you!

I have always had a diverse group of friends over the years and have never looked at them as black, white, red, yellow, green or any color of the rainbow. I have a good friend named Tom Inge. Tom is an African-American and a Pemberton Twp. Republican Councilman. Tom can’t get his restaurant open in our town because the Democratic Planning Board members are prejudiced against him. I don’t know whether it is because of his race or because he is a Republican, but I do know that he is both, and he is being screwed. Why doesn’t the press cover this story? Probably because he is a Republican.

Ah, the good old, “I have a black friend” defense.  The corollary to “I’m friends with lots of black people” as if any of that proves that you are no racist.  Why not be honest and sa:

“I thought it was funny, they are both black and I don’t like either of them and I wanted to associate Obama with a murderer in the sense that I think he would murder america”

Instead we’re treated to this shameful song and dance where you use your kids, your wife and your friend Tom as a kind of shield from criticism.  You Coward.  You weak 70-year-old coward.  You weren’t even infantry, you killed people from the sky.  Now you’re old and weak and looking for an out when you are caught making a shameful joke on behalf of your organization.  Man up and admit to what you intended.

So while I do apologize for offending anyone by the icon, I am more sorry that my family and friends had to endure such a traumatic experience because the PC police assumed that I was a racist. This is why I thought it was best to call my Municipal Chairwoman yesterday and resign my post as a committee-member. I think too much of the good people in the GOP to let the Democrats smear them because of my mistake.

This website always was and will continue to remain my own personal website, and I will put on it whatever I please!

If you don’t think your family and friends can take the heat, don’t make inflammatory statements on their behalf.  On that note, let me state that I am sure that I speak only for myself and not anyone else on this Blog.  Unless otherwise noted, I’m the person in charge of the keyboard.

Who knows if this will remain up, but if it does here is the link to the Eds website:

http://homewebs.net/pem/

Twitter Updates for 2008-07-13

  • tried to get the new “Nitemayr.com” design going, inspiration was not enough to make it work. Maybe in the AM #
  • Moved WordPress install to root of nitemayr.com #
  • Decided against full *move* opting for a split approach both wordpress based, one photoblog one “blog” blog #
  • Transitions are a pain, huh? #

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These are Both Pints

These are Both Pints, originally uploaded by NiteMayr.

I have forgotten the brand name of the massive German Wheat Beer I was drinking, but it was drinking from a child’s bucket. The other Glass is Harp in a Labatt glass.

I found it out the giant pint is a Hoegaarden White Ale

This was alot more beer than I had expected or wanted with my meal, but it was VERY good. It was draft, cold and refreshing. I think it’d be nicer with wings.

Twitter Updates for 2008-07-11

  • @billdeys What brought on the “consumers are nuts” thing? #
  • @billdeys LoL, I get ya now. #
  • “ann40” you’re a spammer. #
  • @ London Are the bathrooms at the Public Library in Galeria used as a shooting Gallery? #
  • It has been a “Queen” kind of day out here in the Shack. What musical motif expresses your day today? #

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The Nerd Frog March

I know that Karl Rove is kind of the Nerd Ascendant, a nerd who overcame Nerd Rage, got the Jock Assholes on his side and rose to a position of nearly untouchable privilege.  It still kinds wanna see him go down though.  He always comes off like he’s really ahead of the game, when all he really is doing is hiding behind his Jock Asshole friend and calling the other kids names.  In any other situation he’d be doing 3-10 in the Pen and we’d all be talking about the Political Machievelli of Wormsuch or something.

He (Karl Rove) is just riding the wave of his friend’s popularity to the end, using all of his hard won Jock contacts to the very end.  For that, I kind of admire him, he overcame his Nerd impulses and got in good with the Frat-Boys and the Jock Assholes.   That’s something that most Nerds will never manage, the real crossing of the aisles from Nerd Nobody to Jock’s Friend.

But, Yes SUH, I want to see him Frog Marched in front of the Congress and forced to, under oath, lie to the whole world about what he has done in office.   You think he’ll tell the truth?  This is all theatre so he can say, “I don’t recall” over and over.

You’d think the American Public would wake up and start voting with their heads some day and finally elect a third party in serious numbers.

Anyway, Go Karl.  Prove your innocence by running from testimony and acting like anything you have to say bears any value to the security of the US of A.