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You know you've done wrong by your customer when

Published by NiteMayr on September 17, 2007

Starting immediately, we will be upping the activation count to a 5 by 5 plan. We will be raising the maximum amount of computers a user can have BioShock installed on simultaneously from 2 to 5, and allowing a user to reinstall BioShock on each of those computers from 3 times to 5 times

Oh, something is wrong with your install?  Reinstall.  Hmm, still not working, reinstall.

Have these people even seen the inside of a software support center?

Reinstall is step 2 in the four-step customer blow-off plan for bad techs.

For those at home, the four-step plan is this:

1.   Did you reboot?  Will that take a long time?  Go ahead and call back if that doesn’t help!

2.   Did you reinstall?  That will take a long time!  Go ahead and call back if that doesn’t help!

3.   Did you install Patch X+1, [where x is the version the customer has and +1 is a cosmetic update]?  The download will take a long time.  Go ahead and call back if that doesn’t help!

4.   I’m sorry, I don’t support that operating system, let me direct you to the correct agents, thanks for calling!

At least twice in any long-term support issue, a customer is going to be forced to reinstall.  If they have done so on their own they are already buttressing against these imaginary limits.

Let customers who have physical media or downloaded “unlocked” media reinstall as they want, if you are trying to lock stuff down to prevent piracy, REWARD paying customers with content that is only available through online activation of keys, make the enhanced content online only and activated only through an SSL encrypted keying system.

Ta Daaaa!

Revenue stream saved

Three State Drive!

Published by NiteMayr on August 26, 2007

We drove from Nebraska to Illinois today.

I wish I had more to say about the drive but I left my brain and stomach somewhere in Iowa! There were about a million hills between Lincoln and Ottawa, Illinois. This made the drive seem to go on forever, it wasn’t until I put on an audiobook that the drive became less of a chore. (World War Z)

We should hit ontario sometime tomorrow! Please continue to wish us luck!

The Lighter died about two hours ago

Published by NiteMayr on August 25, 2007

Yep. Beyond a trucker that decided to match our snails pace along 80 east, we had a good drive. The sky kept on threatening to rain, but nothing came of it.

Rather than stress about the lighter we’ll go on without it, keep a short driving goal in mind.

Today we passed the middle of the way for the trip and are now closer to home than Eugene.

We have about 1000 miles to go, but we should be able to stop in illinois then make it to Canada by monday afternoon!

Wish us luck on the last two legs of our trip!

Wyoming!

Published by NiteMayr on August 24, 2007

Left Ogden behind, the breakfast place had a roach issue so we got comped, I didn’t get to eat.

The drive was great, but the last bit and impersonal hotel left me rattled.

Saw so many hills that I am no longer impressed by Oregon’s hills;  excepting the fact that the first 100 or so miles of the drive out of eugene were so smooth and awesome .

Let me also say that if I never have to drive downhill on another graded road I’ll be very very happy. I’ll do it again though, happiness isn’t everything.

On a travel note, we have come 1100+ miles, we have 1500 to go. we’ll be at the 1500 mile mark sometime tomorrow evening. Stamina holding, we’ll be in lincoln nebraska tomorrow night by 8 pm. Otherwise we’ll be there by 10 pm at the latest.

Utah

Published by NiteMayr on August 24, 2007

Very Expensive! 156 for the room, 20 bucks for breakfast. Damn! Now for gas!


NOTE FROM THE FUTURE: After I posted this a cockroach the size of a small cat crawled up the curtain behind Jen and we had to abandon the table (a table full of food too)  and left the restraunt.  The waitress had said under her breath that this was not a new problem.

250+ Miles Down, 240+ Miles to Go

Published by NiteMayr on August 23, 2007

At a rest stop in Idaho, about half way to Ogden, Utah. Our goal is to sleep in Utah, drive to Nebraska, sleep there then hit Illinois by Sunday. Wish us luck!

NOTE FROM THE FUTURE:  Idaho smelled of Onions and open Sewers in the Built up areas

Holy Crap, we nearly rolled!

Published by NiteMayr on August 23, 2007

The drive went well today, until mile 420 or so, with 70 miles to go.

We were driving downhill on slick graded roads when the back end started sliding out. Crap!

No matter what we did, wobble wobble, I thought that we might have a flat, so I pulled over and while cars and trucks whipped by at 70 mph+ I cranked a flashlight and prayed for the best.

All seemed well, but as we got going again it was wobble time again; I was so rattled at this point that driving was a chore.

damn, and more than an hour to go.

then we got hosed at the hotel.

tomorrow looks better, as I’ve booked the hotel and have limited the trip to 8 hours, rather than 12.

Fingers crossed we make it before 10.
This planning change extends the trip by one day.

We should be home by tuesday.

On the Road Again!

Published by NiteMayr on August 22, 2007

It was hairy getting going and took six hours to really get it started; but we are now 260-some miles fromeugene in Burns oregon.

We were aiming for utah today, but the late start really blew us out. Driving 45 mph in the dark, towing your life along is no where near as cool as it sounds, especially through the scrubby desert like heart of oregon.

we’re here hale and whole with 2300 miles ahead of us tomorrow, we may get to wyoming, maybe?

On Vox: Superbad and Goodbye

Published by NiteMayr on August 18, 2007

Last night John, Jeff, Damon, Ben, Nathan, Karl, Alex and I went to see Superbad at the local Regal Stadium Theater; and I think we all laughed ourselves stupid.

Somewhere around the giant penis riding the bomb a la slim pickins we were all subnormal, and happy to be there.

All in all, I want to avoid saying too much about Superbad; other than to endorse its repeated viewing with all of your friends and its purchase in multiple formats.  Look, if they come out with a shrinkydinks related Superbad merch pack, I think you might want to buy it.

We all agreed that the DVD release of this movie will be an instant must-buy and I think we all made a silent pact to purchase it via advanced ordering.

The whole theater was engulfed in laughs during this one and to address the “misogynistic” claims made against it, what did teenage girls talk about at that age, huh?

Last night I also said G’bye to Gooddamon as he won’t be back at the office this week, so Bye, see you on the internets.

Originally posted on nitemayr.vox.com