Tag Archives: Movies

Boredom + Ennui equals TAKEDOWN

I hated Wall-E so much that when a Mefite posted a link to an old story about it; I found an equally old review and decided to take them down a peg:

The “good folks” over at Redstate.com loved Wall-E and posted a tortured set of reasons why Wall-E was all about the Reagan and the Guns:

1) The overthrow of fascist tyranny – The most direct conservative message in the movie is the uprising of the humans to throw off the chains of fascism. Humans on the Axiom have been subjugated to the soft fascism of the nanny state where the state provides all needs to all people, and they are all equal in their care. Everyone looks the same. Every gets the same food, clothes, media and activities. It is the perfect Marxist utopia, except for the French Revolution inspired construct of a ruling elite (Auto and his hench-robots) who have the ultimate freedom and authority to rule society and construct it to their ideal. Just because it is performed “for the good of the people” doesn’t make less of a tyranny. I’m sure Pol Pot’s forced march into the wilds of Cambodia was for the good of the people too.

Of course, when I think of Liberals, I think of Rigid social mores and Cool Uniforms.  Or wait, do I think of Hippies?  Yeah, the last thing.  Also Fascism does not Equal Communism.  These two things are not equal.  I think they were trying to arge against authoritarianism; which I think is still a stretch, since there is really only one Authority and society as a whole (The land whales) were not down for it; they were just mindless consumers (like good Capitalists).

(Quick, examine that short Paragrah, did I say anything about a certain Austrian political figure?  No, Give me a cookie!)

2) Failure of the Big Government social programs – We’ve had a lot of discussion of the anti-corporate message in the form of Big N Large. I contend that BNL is not a corporation, but a government. It represents the ultimate extension of the nationalized corporation as defined by Mussolini, and is a pretty close analogy to Great Society. In the end BNL has total worldwide societal control and all needs of the people are met by BNL’s “programs”. But just like the failure of the Great Society, BNL’s planned economy fails in a spectacular manner. Even the changes made to save humanity do not meet the promises. We see advertising, analogous to current PSAs, to take the Axiom on its 5 year cruise. But the promise of the Axiom is not met and we see the price of that failure early in movie when we see all the fat people on hover chairs. Just like the Great Society, once the liberal plan is put into motion, there is no option to change to a rational alternative. All that can be done is to maintain the status quo, without end. As a side note, the CEO of BNL makes all of his pronouncements from something that looks like the White House press room. This is reference to governmental power, not corporate power.

Simply stating that Wal-Mart , ahed, I mean BNL is not a Corporatation and then going on from there isn’t reasoning; that like saying “I don’t think the Green Goblin is a villan, so therefore Spider-Man is a menace!”  good thinking there JJJ.  So; yeah this whole section of the argument is out the door.

3) The effects of the Mainstream Media – Every human has a personal video feed that is used to pipe constant media brainwashing. We see the propaganda where they are all told that “Blue is the new red”. All of the mind numbed sheep dutifully go “oooohhh” and happily don the new color, while all continue to look identical. They dutifully do as they are told, including eating what they are told, until they have become an identical group of fat useless drains on the welfare state. A state which dutifully fills up the troughs for them to eat from. I found this theme to track with the current obesity problem in the welfare and food stamp programs.

I aggree; the mainstream media is a profit driven entity owned by large corporations who want money.  How is this a Liberal thing.  I get it; if you don’t like it (it’s Liberal) and if you like it (Like cool Stormtrooper uniforms) it’s Conservative.  Tell me again how Fascists and Commies are Liberals again?

4) Propagandizing the education system – There was one scene where we saw the fat little children being educated through the use of media propaganda. This removal of parents from the upbringing of the children falls in line with the current drive to push children into the public indoctrination system as early as possible. While it is only an aside, the next time you see the children is when they are in danger thanks to the callous disregard of the elites. In this case, the state doesn’t save them, it is the actions of Josh and Mary acting as pseudo parents that save their lives.

Again, I agree.  Using the Education of the young to put forth an agenda is deplorable.  Of course, when the truth is that agenda and you don’t believe in it (like say Evolution and how the Mass Market is profit driven and not equitable…)  wait what?  Oh, my eduction by PepsiCo must have failed me again; no Pepsi for me tonight.

5) Triumph of individualism – Through accidental contact with the robots, Josh and Mary meet each other and begin a romance. We see one scene where the Lido deck is closed, and all of the hover chairs dutifully follow orders and head to the cabins. But Josh and Mary ignore the rules and stay in the pool. In another scene, we see Eve finally ignore the directive to deliver the plant to the bridge, and stay to help Wall-E when he is injured. Both of these short sequences demonstrate individuals standing up for self determination over the dictates of the state.

Wall-E is emulating something he saw in a Movie.  If emulation is somehow being an individual, all those kids dressed as the Vampires from Twilight are downright rebels. Dumbass.

6) Elites fighting to maintain power – The Socialist concept of rulership by elites is often accompanied by the struggle to maintain power for the good of the people, even when the people are harmed in the process. It is all done for the good of society. Toward the end of the movie, we see Auto put the humans into danger by turning the ship and causing everyone to slide toward the walls (I promised I wouldn’t discuss the gravitational absurdity of this scene). Here the elite is trying to save humanity, but in the process is likely to kill a lot of humans. This parallels a common environmentalist desire of today to see a significant reduction in human population to save the planet.

What Elites?  One Computer is “Elites” plural?  Dumbshit can’t even count now.

7) Individualism must be suppressed – In the movie, the robots save the day. But the robots that do this are the “misfit” robots that have been put into a “reeducation program” to get them to perform within the strict tolerances defined by the state as acceptable. Once Wall-E uses Eve’s “blaster” to open the doors, the misfit robots escape. Instead of being a danger to society as the state controlled media asserts, they instead help Wall-E and Eve save humanity.

The “Misfit” robots are dangerously malfunctioning devices used to maintain the ship; some of which were endangering the ship.  By this reasoning,  a clinically insane person who threaten kindergartens because “Obama is gunna take his guns” is a real conservative icon!  Again,  Fail! Or WIN! Depending on which end of the spectrum your type of Aspergers ends up on.

8) Superiority of the classics – This one is a bit of a stretch, but the continual use of a “classic” image of the movie Hello Dolly made me think of the fight against cultural corruption. Wall-E (and eventually Eve) pine for, and eventually show the triumph of, the classical values shown by that movie. They reject the cultural mores imposed by modern thought as expressed by their directives that they are expected to blindly follow.

Yes, like CLASSIC Warfare (Raping and Pillaging) and CLASSIC Marriage (dowries) and of course the old Conservative Favourite, the Classic Lifestyle of the Spartan Army.

9) In the end Humanity embraces truth and does the right thing – The captain finally decides to take the Axiom home. But his decision is based on truly knowing what they face. He learns that Earth isn’t the happy wonderful place that his movies are showing him. Instead he directly confronts the bleak reality of the world that Eve shows him. But despite the knowledge of the challenges that faces them, he rejects the easy stagnation of continued life on the Axiom, and returns to earth to build a new world. Once faced with the lies told to him by the state, he rejects the state and embraces the hard road of struggle for independence.

The “State” told him to keep looking for life at home and then when said life is found, GO HOME.  Which is what happened.


Again, Wall-E sucks and this gave me an opportunity to relive some of the low-lights of this crap fest.

Blade 3 was better than Blade 2 – IGN fails at WATCHING

I present the thing I’m pissed off at in total:

The third Blade movie is the poster child for how not to make a sequel. One would think it would be a no-brainer to pit Blade against Dracula in an ultimate showdown, that it would at the very least deliver on the promise and fun of the second film. But instead, we get a the equivalent of movie cancer – Blade plays supporting character to Nightstalkers Ryan Reynolds and Jessica Biel; Dracula looks like a bouncer in need of a tan instead of the alpha/omega of suckheads and director David Goyer makes ineptitude an Olympic sport.

The movie is a fascinating failure, considering there isn’t much to pulling off a Blade movie other than have Blade brood in between dusting vamps and looking cool while doing it. The goal of the suckfest was to provide a stepping stone for a Nightstalkers spin-off; in doing so, Blade became relegated to the background and his “death scene” came off about as compelling as Scott’s in X3. Blade is a hero, he should die like one. And he should go out in a better vehicle than this crapfest. Avoid this one like the plague.

by Phil Pirrello & Jay Hainsworth

I’ve included a link to the authors of this suckfest (oh pun) so that I may remember them and heap nerd scorn upon their unworthy skulls.

Let me point out some of the problems here:

  1. Blade is alive at the end of the movie, I know it’s a spoiler.  However these morons failed to watch and listen to the damn movie.
  2. Ryan Reynolds is the fucking Man in this movie.  “Hello, My name is Fuck you”  C’mon.
  3. They really kill Whistler and don’t have him come back from the dead like an asshole (unlike in Blade 2)
  4. Patton “Fucking” Oswalt is in this movie.
  5. The Villain is played by Parker Posey (Alt-Chick turned crazy ass vampire?  Yes Please), Ryan Reynolds refers to the biggest she-bitch in the movie as “kitten” to her face; while being pummeled by Sabretooth (okay, I;m not 100% sure this is the same actor, but it looks like him)
  6. Patton Oswalt?  Got that?  Not doing punch-up off camera either, right there in the middle of the screen.
  7. Natasha Lyon doesn’t play a junkie.  Swish!
  8. The one REALLY WEAK moment in the movie (SERIOUSLY WEAK) is when Blade tells JB to “Use it” over her pain at Natasha Lyonne dying.
  9. Vampire Rotweilers
  10. Vampire Toy Poddles (Reaper Strain no less)
  11. Dracula kills a Suicide Girl reject in what appears to be Hot Topic.  Nice!

Let me re-state the reason I’m pissed at Messers Pirello and Hainsworth, Blade is alive at the end of the flick (having been replaced by another Vampire before the cops showed up).  If you are going to purport to review movies, you gotta either watch them to the end or at least check if your emphatically stated facts are even close to accurate.

Hey, did I mention the sub-plot where the government are aware of Blade and take part in taking him down?  Neat!

What about the special anti-vampire weapons?  Concentrated Sunlight in an arrowhead?  Nice, Shooting arrows around corners, fuck yeah!

They then go on to bash on Back to the Future 3, the most beloved part of the series after number 1 (among normals, not bitter nerds)  Bitter nerds love number 2 more (I’m with the nerds on this one)

However, if one was to layer the Blade movies in terms of entertainment, It goes Blade 1 (hard physical effects for the fights, cool vamps (donnal logue recognize!) Blade 3 (JB and RR + Patton OSwalt) then Blade 2 (Cartoon fights, c’mon!)  I loved Blade 2 until I watched Blade 3 a second time.

Don’t listen to these IGN assholes, Blade 3 is the shit, take a big whiff.

The Theatre Going Experience is better without you

Whenever there is a discussion about movies and or theaters; there will always be a posting like this:


Theaters are over rated, for $4.99 I can watch any new released movie in HD on in demand and they always release on demand on the same day as the dvd releases. And the funny part is because I have bought movies from them all the time threw on demand Cox gives me like two bucks off so I only really pay $2.99. So what would I rather do sit at a theater listen to people talk on their cell phones and hear kids crying or people eating pop corn or sit in my living room in my recliner.?

Seriously they should just release movies right off for renting.


Amen, movies are way too expensive now. My screen at home is way better anyways. Why pay $10+ to watch standard definition movies with annoying people?

Or These:

I am not going to theaters, nor buying full-priced DVD’s for my movie enjoyment, mostly because 90% of movies are lousy anyway.

It does seem like we’ve been in a rut for a few months on movie quality.

Legitimate dvd’s should cost like $5 then i would gladly buy whatever movie i wanted to watch.
$20- $25 is way too much and movies these days make millions of dollars in profit anyways.

Are the really lousy? Or do you just have different taste then other people?

check rottentomatoes.com the majority are LOUSY.

No they’re lousy. I used to take in 3, sometimes 4 movies a week up until 10 or 12 years ago when we REALLY started getting bombarded with absolute shite from Hollywood.

I know! The movies these days are SO bad that I will only watch them for free! THAT is how bad they are! Just terrible! THAT is why I pirate! Because I only pirate crappy movies!


You obviously haven’t seen Epic Movie, Meet the Spartans, etc.


yet you will still pirate most movies. Just because something is shitty doesnt mean you deserve to get it for free.

The movie theater near me that I affectionatly refer to as the local “Dirt Theater” has 8 screens, all of which are taller and wider than my home, a three story 3 bedroom with full basement and all the mod cons one would love.  Each screen is accompanied by loveseat style thatre seats that allow one to get cozy and large accomodating aisles that (for the most part) leave you miles from the people ahead and behind you.  This is the “Dirt” theatre.  As in the crappiest one nearby.   It is 1-million times better than the 52 inch LCD HD tv that my sister-in-law sports and better still than the 62-inch projection deal my more affluent friends have going.  The screen in the cheapest theatre around me (gives you free tickets if you go to a week day showing, when no KIDS OR LOUD ASSHOLES ARE THERE) has excellent popcorn and snacks and an amazing digital sound system that immerses one in the movie.  On top of that you can see the movie with 20-40 of your friends or co-workers and no one is forced to sit on the ground or anything.

How watching a movie at home alone is superior to this experience I will never know.

All of  that aside, if your aspergers has become so pronounced that you cannot stand the idea of enjoying a social event like a big movie premiere, I understand.  I mean, you are backward and socially withdrawn and you hate crowds, I get it.  Sure.

However, the “Movies Suck Now” argument is SO disinginuous, one hardly has the blood in one’s brain to even take the time to comment on it.

It would seem that people look at the movies of yesteryear as some kind of geneology that led somehow to a generation of subnormals that communicate only in grunts.

These are the top grossing movies of 1995 (14 years ago)

191,773,049 Toy Story (1995)
183,997,904 Batman Forever (1995)
141,600,000 Pocahontas (1995)
108,344,348 Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls (1995)
100,475,249 Jumanji (1995)
100,328,194 Casper (1995)
100,125,000 Se7en (1995)
100,003,359 Die Hard: With a Vengeance (1995)
99,929,196 GoldenEye (1995)
91,400,000 Crimson Tide (1995)

Which of these Opus’ to the human condition was somehow better than say “Taken” or “[Rec]” or “The Dark Knight”  okay se7en was a masterpiece.  The rest, mass culture drek, enjoyable films, but not exactly hard eyed examinations of the human condition or a means to excel the art of film itself.

Twelve Years Ago:

600,779,824 Titanic (1997)
250,147,615 Men in Black (1997)
229,074,524 The Lost World: Jurassic Park (1997)
181,395,380 Liar Liar (1997)
172,620,724 Air Force One (1997)
147,637,474 As Good as It Gets (1997)
138,339,411 Good Will Hunting (1997)
126,805,112 My Best Friend’s Wedding (1997)
125,332,007 Tomorrow Never Dies (1997)
112,225,777 Face/Off (1997)

One Non-Hollywood movie and the one Bond Movie… (same as 1995)


167,780,960 3 Men and a Baby (1987)
156,645,693 Fatal Attraction (1987)
153,665,000 Beverly Hills Cop II (1987)
123,922,370 Good Morning, Vietnam (1987)
80,640,528 Moonstruck (1987)
76,270,454 The Untouchables (1987)
66,995,879 The Secret of My Succe$s (1987)
65,207,127 Lethal Weapon (1987)
63,952,836 Dirty Dancing (1987)
63,766,510 The Witches of Eastwick (1987)

The Top Grossing movie from 1987 starred three aging men cooing over a baby girl (and may have starred a ghost!!!), hey look, two Cher movies too.

Popular movies will always be drek and pap.  That’s why they are popular, they hit that good middle of the road where people above and below the line of average intelligence can see them.  Sometimes the under the line’r folks just go ro more movies…


Subnormals watch a large number of movies.

Shoot, I’m digging a hole here.

Anyway, 1977

460,935,665 Star Wars (1977)
102,000,000 The Goodbye Girl (1977)
50,800,000 A Bridge Too Far (1977)
38,251,425 Annie Hall (1977)
31,063,038 High Anxiety (1977)
28,000,000 Slap Shot (1977)
28,000,000 Herbie Goes to Monte Carlo (1977)
26,414,658 The Gauntlet (1977)
25,850,802 Saturday Night Fever (1977)
24,652,021 The Other Side of Midnight (1977)

There is a Herbie movie in there.  Slap Shot, while considered a classic is hardly a pinnace of movie making.  The less critically said about Star Wars, the better.

Are we seeing a pattern here?  Mass Market movies will always “suck” in the eyes of overly critical assholes; they were never worth the 10cents movies cost when their Grandparents went to see them:


33,300,000 The Bridge on the River Kwai (1957)
26,300,000 Sayonara (1957)
25,600,000 Peyton Place (1957)
11,750,000 Gunfight at the O.K. Corral (1957)
11,000,000 A Farewell to Arms (1957)
10,000,000 Bayou (1957)
8,750,000 The Pride and the Passion (1957)
8,000,000 Island in the Sun (1957)
7,000,000 The Curse of Frankenstein (1957)
4,000,000 Jailhouse Rock (1957)

That is an Elvis movie there and a Frankenstein Movie.

And may never be worth the money in the future either.

And just so I can make my point, you thought the MAtrix Sequels sucked, huh?

377,027,325 The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003)
339,714,367 Finding Nemo (2003)
305,388,685 Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003)
281,492,479 The Matrix Reloaded (2003)
242,589,580 Bruce Almighty (2003)
214,948,780 X2 (2003)
173,381,405 Elf (2003)
150,350,192 Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (2003)
139,259,759 The Matrix Revolutions (2003)
138,614,544 Cheaper by the Dozen (2003)

Yeah, the movie going public didn’t think the same thing as you.

My favourite movie in the past decade (real movie, not action movie) was Garden State, I loved it.  It was not in the top ten movies of 2004, not by a long shot.  That doesn’t give me the authority to turn around and say “all movies are crap!” And your taste not matching up with the general public doesn’t validate your qualitative description either.

So, to conclude, the movie going experience is better without all the people who don’t like the social aspect of the theaters; who complain about the prices and the crowds.  The theater is better without the people who prefer to watch it on the Television over the Big Screen.  In short, I enjoy the movies better without you.

Oh, The horrifying things I have done…

Dear Roger,

I respect your list; but I am not a professional critic and do not abide by your rules, save the photo thing.  I’m far to shy to ask my heroes for photos, even Henry Rollins.

However, I will list for you my various cinematic sins; as a penance of sorts (even if I am proud of them).

For years I have been a silent and respectful moviegoer, quiet in my seat (save guffawing or walking out of movies that have offended my delicate sensibilities, shy flower of Jesus that I am).  In recent years I have taken to being “that guy” in theaters; the one who yells at the screen and makes a scene, the sometimes combative loudmouth who maintains that he is enhancing the experience.  Here are my most memorable Movie Theatre Sins:

  • During Sin City yelling “Go on there, Drink that Piss” and “God Damn, that’s alot of blood, I hope he brought some band-aids”
  • During Constantine; yelling “My Precious” during the spear retrieval and “Can you hear me now?” when the phones stopped ringing for Evie
  • I forget what movie, but threatening a coterie of young men who would not shut up during the movie, I turned, looked them in the eye and loudly threatened to dress them in soda and ice if they didn’t shut up or move.  They moved, undressed in Corn Syrup and Flavoring.
  • Yelling, “Where are the Gi-Joes?” during a fight in Transformers, loudly booing the dialogue, hissing when Optimus Prime spoke, mooing during the love scenes.  I didn’t like it.
  • Paying to see The Pirates movie, part 3.
  • Nearly running out of the Theater when the girl ghost pops up and barfs in “The Sixth Sense”

For these and all my other “That Guy” sins I am for the most part, not sorry, but I am hapy to claim them as my own.


To Draw it down to Numbers

An American Carol Week Number One (1,639 Screens):

$3,656,000 1,639 $2,231 $3,656,000

Sicko Week Number One (441 Screens):

$4,501,712 441 $10,208 $4,616,786

There has been alot of noise about “Real Americans” and “Real America” these past couple of days.  The McCain campaign makes much of the fact that their supports represent the silent majority or the moral majority of the Country.  The Down-home Salt of the earth that make up the real body of the electorate.  The Authoritarian Right would have you believe that Liberals make up a tiny black-hearted exceptional bump in the world, and that the Rock-Ribbed Conservatives are in the Majority (while simlutaneously telling us about how they are persecuted).

These discussions are sometimes referred to as culture wars, expressed in purchasing patterns and behaviors.  I can think of no better illustration of how North American people are really split than their viewing habits.  They have to pay to see these films, they sometimes have to drive over some distance to go there, more than television, movie habits reflect the will and tastes of the affluent west and these numbers don’t lie.

People in the Western World ARE Liberals.  They are Liberals by choice and in vast numbers, and if anyone tells you otherwise, they are deluded and foolish.  Now if only they could vote that way too.

Oh, and in case you don’t know, An American Carol lasted two weeks in Theatres and Sicko, 13.

Review: Meet Dave

Meet Dave

Eddie Murphy plays the dual role of “this generations greatest captain” and “the ship itself” in this Sci-Fi comedy about a crew of 3 inch tall aliens in persuit of a secret weapon designed to steal all of the Salt Water on earth.

Much has been made of how bad “Meet Dave” is, and like “Norbit” before it, most of the problems people have with it can be traced to the easy familiarity of the movie and not to any other quantitive problem. It’s trite and lazy; the plot is obvious and cookie-cutter easy. Aliens come to Earth and take on the attributes of humans, some get into rap, some go crazy and the ostensibly toughest guy on board is a flaming stereotype. Sigh, yawn, seen it before. There are no surprises here. The guy with a stick up his butt goes crazy, takes over the ship an alienates the “kid”. Yawn.

My rating: 2.5 stars

The fish out of water story has been done to death, even by Eddie Murphy himself.  This movie might even be best described as a family-friendly “Coming to America” with Arsenio Hall replaced with Gabrielle Union.  It’s pretty much the same movie.  Eddie Murphy’s character tries to blend in with the Humans, fails, falls for a local girl and finds love.  It’s the same basic movie, without James Earl Jones and Sexual Chocolate.

Once again, we have a long-time movie comedian going back to the well for more of the same, hoping to win over his core audience, only to find out that his core audience has grown tired of his work and moved on to dirtier pastures.  When Eddie Murphy tried to go back to dirtier roots (Norbit) they weren’t interested in that either.  Which is a shame, because like Mike Myers’ “The Love Guru”, “Meet Dave” isn’t a bad comedy.  I laughed at the predictable jokes and liked the ending.  Yes, I saw it all coming when I saw the poster, but it didn’t make the ride any worse.

Audiences will go on the same Roller Coaster over and over again, hit the same drops and loops over and over and keep going back, why don’t they do the same for movies by established celebreties?  They see the same stories over and over, the same themes.  It’s not to say that “Meet Dave” is great, but it wasn’t as bad as one would have imagined.  Eddie Murphy was funny, the relationship with the kid was “hearwarming” and the plot was straightforward.  What more can one say about a family-friendly movie?

Review: Gone, Baby, Gone

Gone Baby Gone

Patrick Kenzie has two kinds of friends, Cops and Scum, but don’t hold that against him, he’s probably the best detective in the North East. When a frantic aunt calls him to find her missing niece, Patrick finds he has to choose between happiness and honor; a catch 22 that leaves his life in broken bits.

My rating: 5.0 stars

Before I get into this I want to call out a specific actor; as I have loved him in EVERYTHING I’ve seen him in:

Edi Gathegi who plays “Cheese” in Gone, Baby, one, “Big Love” in House and the totally memorable Haitian Cab Driver in Crank.  I really expect and hope to see more from him, as he has the kind of mournful or threatening or easy going presence that a young actor could only hope to put forth.  He’s great here and deserves some recognition as a strong supporting character.

It’s a fine thing to spend some time breaking on Ben Affleck, that he’s uncooth, that he’s a hack, that he has it way better than you and he doesn’t deserve it. I used to agree with this line of reasoning, Affleck always seemed to be the smarmy asshole and I truly hated him for it. Of course, that was because he was a good actor. When Ben wants to play a sympathetic lead or best friend, he becomes likeable and pleasant. When he’s a leading man, cocky and sure, he is. I think Ben Affleck is a fine actor and it’s about time we all just accepted that he is both talented and not just lucky. “Gone Baby Gone” pretty much proves it.

GBG does more for Casey Affleck in terms of acting, but considering that Bog Brother Bed is the director, it goes to show that the Afflecks have got talent in spades.

Casey Affleck plays Patrick Kenzie; a boston boy and detective in the mold of a streetwise Harry D’amour or John Constantine; a magus of the street without the magic.  He works the streets, associating with cops and killers; knowing that the only thing of value he has is his self-respect.  Honorable to a fault, Kenzie is forced to turn on his friends and tear down pillars of the humanity at the cost of his own happiness in his quest for closure.  Faced with moral choices he makes difficult decisions, perhaps in a quest for redemption after he (in his own words) murders a guilty man.

Casey plays Patrick Kenzie with ease; he is almost lazy in his approach, but it betrays a cunning mind behind the eyes (always looking around, always looking at the angles).  The character never seems put on, never a costume, Patrick and Casey are inseperable and while some scenes may have looked emotionless, it was entirely in character; honor over happiness as I stated before.

I was reminded, constantly, of 8MM while I watched this, the situation was very similiar (where Casey plays the role Joaquin Phoenix did in 8MM).  I kept looking for “The Machine” moment in the movie, and when it came down, I was on the edge of my seat, nearly calling for it to happen.  When I realized that nothing was resolved, I applauded the movie.  Gone Baby Gone kept me on an emotional edge for the last hour, constantly hoping for a “happy” outcome; which never really came.

Now, the action was violent and shocking, there was at least one shooting that made me shout out “Oh My God, they shot him” I was absorbed at that point and I don’t think I blinked again until the end of the movie.  It is that powerful.

All of this dances around the specifics of the story, which I have tried to conciously avoid; as I want you to fully enjoy this movie.  It’s a worthwhile movie, certainly something I am going to watch again.

As for Ben, Affleck, you’da bomb in “Gone baby Gone” yo

Review: Wall-E


A Walmart Brand robot develops a personality and deep emotional problems after 700 years of cleaning up world-covering garbage that appears to have miraculously avoided all advertising and signage

My rating: 2.5 stars

Wall-E is one of those movies that people love to gush over; where a cute something with no voice of it’s own falls in love with the notion of love and then overcomes everything just to get his limited groove on.  Sometimes there is dancing, sometimes there is singing, sometimes there is some chaste kissing; however it is always stulifying and boring.  Great for the kids, right?

Let me summarize Wall-E for those of you who have not seen it or refuse to do so, as you are principled people who don’t need Cartoon Robots to feel good about

Hello Dolly Song !

Fly-in through Garbage

There’s alot of Garbage

More Garbage, set to Hello Dolly Tune

Big Wall-E! Big Wall-E

Fat People all over the place

Fat Babies!

More Garbage

Hello Dolly Tune


I don’t know if that is what some people took from it, but that’s about it for me. There was no there, there.  Even for a kids movie, this was pretty pointless.  Pixar has been pretty good about avoiding the “Song And Dance” methodology of Disney flicks, but only through having soundtrack montages and so on.  It’s still a baseless little story about a crazy robot who wants nothing more than to “hold hands” with someone.  It’s like American Pie, without the Stiffler or the Shannon Elizabeth.

The empty story is dressed in some nice clothes, but it’s fairly empty.  I know the guys at Pixar worked very hard to build pathos for Wall-E; but in the end he is just a malfunctioning robot who has become obsessed with fulfilling his own dreams.  Wall-E isn’t saving humanity, that’s not even in his scope, he’s obsessed with achieving the one thing that he has built up over years of watching Hello Dolly over and over, holding hands.  At least Eve focuses on her actual function over self-gratification.

The Animation is passable, but it’s not ground-breaking for 3D animation and does little to further 3D movies as an artform or medium.   I didn’t find any portion of the film to be breathtaking (save breathtakingly stupid or vapid)  and I couldn’t get over the details that ruined the whole premise.  Why would the robot repair all of the advertising but not dig up all the garbage from around it?  Why does the robot “go back” to his house rather than move to closer to his work site? Why didn’t the robot build a wind-proof baffle around his little home so that he could leave the door open?  Why didn’t he build a shelter for Eve? These little things detracted from the experience, it’s just poor storytelling when you can actually visually build anything and don’t simply solve these little logical problems right there on film.

Wall-E is a film about garbage that barely rises above it’s oeuvre.  I’d say it’s okay for the kids, but only the youngest seem to want to watch it over and over.  Go watch Monsters Inc. or Iron Giant instead, there’s a movie with real heart and emotion.

Review: The Dark Knight

I’ve had some time to consider “The Dark Knight” and to get over the whole “No More Joker like that” feeling that it left me with when it was over; time to consider the whole put some thought into its merits and failings.

Gotham Itself

Foremost in those Merits is the Art/Photography.  The whole film feels like it was filmed on Location, instead of a series of sets.  Where Movies like “X-Men 3” felt like the scale of the film should have been epic and was instead tabletop sized; a movie about the conflict between two men was so grand in scale and broadly shot with sweeping backdrops.  It was masterful; as I stated earlier Gotham was shot as another character in the film without gaudy makeup and CGI flourish.   It was a welcome change.  The “Batcave” was also exceptional; instead of the visual cacphany of the traditional Batcave we are treated to a spartan and functional HQ that serves as the home of the Batman.  Did anyone else notice how BRIGHT the “Batcave” was?  It wasn’t until the Lights went off at the Batcave that things really got down to business; which I imagine was the metaphor that ran through the whole movie.


Speaking of unvarnished Characters; Alfred gets a back story in this film that precludes some of his own history.  He has served the Wayne Family for how long?  He used to be a mercenary/soldier in where?  Hmmm.  It seems that a former soldier might not take to the life of a butler as readily as the former actor.  Can we get a nice firm Public School Education and life of service in place for Alfred and just leave it there?  Please?  Michael Caine was (as ever) a fine character actor; he has settled into the “wise older guy/father figure” role very well.  The next man to fill the role after Mr. Caine will have trouble shaking the dignified and meaty role that Michael Caine has carved from Alfred.  Not Camp. not “Fussy School Marm”, just a Man’s Man who happens to be a butler.

Rachel Dawes

Maggie Gyllenhall; gah.  I think I just don’t like her as an actor.  Sure, she is more of a character than Katie Holmes carried in “Batman Begins” but only because she pouts and acts more upset with Bruce Wayne than in the former.  I jsut don’t buy her as a lawyer, she seems far to passive to be a real lawyer, especially as an Assistant DA.  Speaking of that; why isn’t Rachel the DA?  She has Bruce Wayne backing her for gosh’s sake.  That is kind of emblematic of the uneven writing that makes Rachel so poor; she motivates two big characters but isn’t self-motivating.  She just reacts and her biggest moment comes. <spoiler>post-mortem</spoiler> which kind of sucks for the actress.  She scores her points by looking alternatively annoyed, scared or sad.

Harvey Dent/Two-Face

Aaron Eckhart; Harvey Dent.  What can be said about the blonde-haird blue-eyed Harvey Dent that wasn’t repeated over and over again in the press about him all over Gotham?  Gotham’s white knight!  The guys on the force had another name for him: “Two Face”.  The only thing is that they don’t establish WHY they called him Two Face; only that he was called it behind his back.  If I remember correctly; in some far-off corner of my mind there was a portrayal of Harvey that showed him being bad-ass in private; thus showing the schism in his personality up front.  Aaron tries to demonstrate this schism on screen, in a hoarse scream that appears as if by magic at points; but I don’t think his performance was strong enough.  It was good; but not great.

The Joker / The Batman

I give Christian Bale and Heath Ledger equal billing here.  They are as much the same character as the source material allows.  In the comics; other heroes will often decry that Batman will always go over the edge and too far when solving the world’s problems.  The opposite is true; of course, The Batman doesn’t ever go too far; he is always prepared and has planned this out.  The same is true for the Joker; who WANTS to be caught and stopped by The Batman.  The Batman and The Joker occupy the same space; with both seeking to make the world see things and do things their way.  The Joker might be doing it for the Lulz, but it’s still the same psychology that drives them.   “The Dark Knight” does a great deal to illustrate that neither the Joker nor The Batman gamble and both seem to have all the angles covered.  The conflict that ensues is epic; if not exhausting.  The yawning physical gulf between the two characters (demonstrated through sweeping helicopter shots showing each character’s approach to looking over the city) is also lost when you can see how close the two man are to each other.  They are shadowy men with pasts that are known only to their intimates.  It seems that the only thing that keeps The Batman from being The Joker are those around him.  All of this is beautifully portrayed by both actors; with Bale continuing to play his “Patrick Bateman” Bruce Wayne to great effect.  Heath Ledger pulls in a performance of the Joker that reaches new highs that I don’t imagine would be easily eclipsed.

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