Tag Archives: Superman

Blasphemy: Clark Kent is not a Costume

Clark Kent is a persona Superman puts on to hide his real identity”

I’ve seen this in various forms over the years, mostly from “Comic Fans”  that is to say skinny legged hipsters and dudes with soul-patches with no double-chin to hide.  It’s the dissembling of Supermand versus Batman that places them as opposite ends of the Heroic Spectrum; where Superman is the Natural State of Clark Kent and Bruce Wayne is the natural State of Batman.

This is so far from correct that it would take a series of GPS Units to Lead you back to almost correct.

While Superman may be naturally super-powered and simply taking advantage of his extraterrestrial birth; he isn’t “Superman” because of his powers.  Superman is Superman because he was Clark Kent first.  That’s why Clark Kent is so convincing to the people around him; that is the natual state of Superman.  He may be the premier superhuman of the DC universe, but Superman relaxes by doing crosswords with Lois Lane in bed, not tossing Meteors at passing Comets (just in case).

Batman, or “The Batman” relaxes by pulling on his cowl and beating up muggers.  An Ideal night for Bruce Wayne, going 12 hours without being called Bruce or Master Wayne once.  Batman is the Natural State of Bruce Wayne, Bruce Wayne is a costume “The Batman” wears when he wants to get things done.  He also moves around disguised as criminals.

Writers come and go for these two Characters; but the fundamentals have been fairly solid since the mid-eighties.  Superman is a powerful homebody named Clark Kent who loves his mommy and goes home to his wife at every opportunity.  Bruce Wayne is the farcical personality that the Batman has adopted to allow his activities to be funded and provide the means for his crusade to continue; The Batman barely tolerates Bruce Wayne and would NEVER go home if he could hack it.

I should keep comics on hand for these rants.  Oh Well.

This is not how Batman Died
This is not how Batman Died


Short Story: Where it Rains

I like working on the west coast, near the forests.  It always rains here.

No one ever looks up.

I can leap from building to building, righting wrongs and so on, no one ever looks up and says “hey, up there in the sky, is that Superman?”

I’m not Superman, I’m not even Super-Dog, or Super-Horse, I’m just Hiram.  Hiram the Secret Superman.

I’m also cripplingly shy and lose my powers when people see me using them.  Seriously.

My powers only work when no one knows I’m using them.  Super Strong, hell yeah, Invunerable, sure, Heat vision? Check.  Telekinesis, you bet!  Invisibility?  No.  There’s the rub.  I can’t operate without being observed in most places, especially the big cities on the east coast and mid-west.  There’s always a tourist looking up at the skyscrapers and saying “golly.”   So I live on the West Coast.  I love the rain and mostly work at night.

Some folks would wonder why I bother at all, my powers only work when I am working in secret, and I can’t even tell my best friend about it because he’d never believe me.  He’d just say “Hiram, you’re drunk or high or something” if I insisted, he’d take me to a doctor and that would be it.  My powers would never work again because someone, somewhere would know about it or question it and I’d be sunk.

It’s my secret though, and I feel great just flying around and throwing big heavy rocks around.  It’s hard to find places to just cut loose and have been thinking about just flying off into space one day.  Did I mention I can move at super speed too?  Yeah.  I got it all, except for Invisibility.

Here on the West Coast, it rains all the time and no one looks up.  So I can put out fires with super breath and stop robbers with my mind.  All without being seen.  It’s great.  The Crime rate has dropped to nearly half since I started operating out here.  The criminals are spooked, but don’t know why and are convinced that they are all just running into bad karma (thank you Left Coast Mysticism!).

Yeah, the West Coast is great, for Hiram the Secret Superman.

Is Superman a Republicain

I found myself wondering about how different Super Hero types would vote in an Election (given that the Majority are Americans I’ll keep my observations to the American versions, but if you like Substitute Republican with Tory or Nationalist where appropriate and Democrats with Liberals or Labour where necessary)

Superman: While the big blue cheese is certainly a symbol of Americana, it is likely that a great deal of his corniness comes from a slanted world view. He grew up in Kansas, and despite what the SMALLVILLE folks may be passing off to us, was brought up in a household where Momma did all the housework and Poppa brought home the bacon. While this type of down home upbringing, paired with incredible powers, have produced an Apple pie loving American boy, it seems to have produced a very weak facade along with it, cracked every so often when placed under stress. His Kansas-born values, along with his consistent knee bending to the “American Way” leads me to believe that Superman would be a Republican, perhaps a socially moderate one.

reagan-web1

During the “Legends” storyline, Superman was portrayed as toeing the line, simply obeying without question. Later he would be portrayed as a tool of the Government, as in the “Dark Knight Strikes Back.”

Verdict: Republican