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Day: April 14, 2010

No, I think the pastor might be more than a bit off in his reading.

Psalm 1 is, first off, from the Old Testament, the Torah to the Jewish people. It’s a fairly core bit of the Torah as well, as it serves, to many scholars, as a sort of guidepost for how one should comport one’s life in relation to God. Study and prayer, day and night, a devotion to the righteous path. All this in the knowledge that God knows the righteous from the wicked, and in some respect the righteous does as well. Judaism embraces this concept of avoiding and shunning the wicked, the unclean. Even extending to dietary laws like keeping kosher.

In the Christian faith the idea of avoiding the wicked is actually something Jesus speaks almost directly against. He speaks highly of the Samaritan (a group who were despised at the time by many Jews for their role in the Babylonian captivity) his relationships with people of ill-repute (prostitutes, tax collectors). Jesus message was far less one of keeping good company and more one of reaching out to those who would be rejected by religion of the day.

Now that’s classical Christianity. What you experienced is more of the “Great Revival” modern Protestant branch. The “by faith alone” and “Christ as personal savior” breed of Christianity. This is where you find your literal readings of the Bible, you’re lack of theological muscle and some very off interpretations of scripture.

So no, I’d say that, if anything, your friend should be inviting you in, not casting you out.

My Bona Fides? I’m a former Catholic seminarian and current Unitarian Universalist with an MA in Islamic history who grew up as a Shabbos Goy in my largely Jewish neighborhood. So yeah, I get around.

–Some Dude

No, I think the pastor might be more than a bit off in his reading.

Psalm 1 is, first off, from the Old Testament, the Torah to the Jewish people. It’s a fairly core bit of the Torah as well, as it serves, to many scholars, as a sort of guidepost for how one should comport one’s life in relation to God. Study and prayer, day and night, a devotion to the righteous path. All this in the knowledge that God knows the righteous from the wicked, and in some respect the righteous does as well. Judaism embraces this concept of avoiding and shunning the wicked, the unclean. Even extending to dietary laws like keeping kosher.

In the Christian faith the idea of avoiding the wicked is actually something Jesus speaks almost directly against. He speaks highly of the Samaritan (a group who were despised at the time by many Jews for their role in the Babylonian captivity) his relationships with people of ill-repute (prostitutes, tax collectors). Jesus message was far less one of keeping good company and more one of reaching out to those who would be rejected by religion of the day.

Now that’s classical Christianity. What you experienced is more of the “Great Revival” modern Protestant branch. The “by faith alone” and “Christ as personal savior” breed of Christianity. This is where you find your literal readings of the Bible, you’re lack of theological muscle and some very off interpretations of scripture.

So no, I’d say that, if anything, your friend should be inviting you in, not casting you out.

My Bona Fides? I’m a former Catholic seminarian and current Unitarian Universalist with an MA in Islamic history who grew up as a Shabbos Goy in my largely Jewish neighborhood. So yeah, I get around.

–Some Dude

Months later, official expense reports show that the boisterous, 10,000-person rally to rein in big government and stop runaway spending cost U.S. taxpayers nearly $14,000.

Define Irony

Months later, official expense reports show that the boisterous, 10,000-person rally to rein in big government and stop runaway spending cost U.S. taxpayers nearly $14,000.

Define Irony

There were a lot of people, particularly Democrats, who were declaring after the 2008 election that we were beginning a period of Democratic dominance that would go on for decades,” Lieberman said during an interview with the conservative Newsmax magazine. “Now, all of a sudden, the momentum is with the Republicans. And that’s — thank God — that’s the way people have spoken, you know? That’s our democracy.

Joe Lieberman speaking to NewsMax, Droopy dog Strikes again!

There were a lot of people, particularly Democrats, who were declaring after the 2008 election that we were beginning a period of Democratic dominance that would go on for decades,” Lieberman said during an interview with the conservative Newsmax magazine. “Now, all of a sudden, the momentum is with the Republicans. And that’s — thank God — that’s the way people have spoken, you know? That’s our democracy.

Joe Lieberman speaking to NewsMax, Droopy dog Strikes again!

So it’s the Teabaggers v the Sane. Alrighty, then, let’s do this.

But first, we have to get the ground rules straight.

Right off the bat, I think it imperative that we begin with a level playing field – and that field is gonna take a hell of a lot of leveling.

First off, you (the “Teabaggers”) have to stop griping about being called Teabaggers. You picked the name; we didn’t. The uniforms have already been delivered – and you’ll be wearing them. There’s no turning back now. (Next revolution, you might want to investigate the origins of your name, and perhaps choose more wisely).

Speaking of uniforms, we’ve chosen tasteful, everyday attire. It would seem you have chosen sweatshirts that desecrate the American flag by plastering it over your flabby stomachs and substantial butts. If you have reconsidered this choice, please advise.

Please be more specific in your complaints. Placards that read “Keep the guvmint’s hands off my Medicaid” have us confused. Being as Medicaid is now, always has been, and always will be a guvmint-run program, we’re not quite sure what you’re bitchin’ about. We stand ready to be enlightened.

In a Revolution, just as in all things, communication is key. While we, the Sane, have not taken up the cause of making English “are offical language”, we do actually speak it fluently, and can communicate coherently. If you need a time-out to familiarize yourself with spelling and grammar, we are more than happy to accomodate you.

Choosing a leader is also important. We’ve chosen President Barack Obama. We will need to know who your “leader” is forthwith. (Note: If you are leaning towards Sarah Palin or Rush Limbaugh, you should be aware that skill-testing questions, along with drug-testing, will be required.) Again, if you need more time to come up with a leader who can pass either, we are willing to afford you whatever time is necessary.

No backsies – once you’re in, you’re in. This means that we can use public roads, highways, libraries (“liberrries” to you, and we figure there won’t be much of an argument from your side when it comes to their use) – and you can’t. You don’t believe the government should be “intruding” into your personal lives by building/maintaining same. So be it.

There will be no government hand-outs to you or yours – by way of medical treatment if you are injured, Social Security payments, food stamps, welfare, etc. We, on the other hand, will be free to benefit from any and all government “intrusion” into our lives.

Strictly off-limits: wiretapping citizens without a warrant, relegating dissenters to “free speech zones”, arresting and incarcerating anyone as “enemy combatants” without due process of law, subjecting anyone to torture – you know, all that fun stuff you people are so enamored of.

You cannot label anyone as a socialist or communist without being able to coherently and accurately define those terms. We cannot label anyone as an ill-informed douchebag without defining those terms – and we can, just so’s ya know.

Our “official spokespeople” will be named at a later date. We are still choosing from among the many Ph.D.s, Nobel Peace Prize recipients, Pulitzer award winners, and internationally renowned among our ranks. We are assuming you’ll be going with Hannity or Beck – or some other ill-informed douchebag who graduated Come-Loud from the Ding Dong School of Political Wherewithal. Please advise at your earliest convenience.

As in all Great Battles, the overwhelming question is: Whose side God is on?

Well, we’ve done some fact-checking (something you’re unfamiliar with, but you can Google it for a full explanation of the exercise) – and lo and behold, it seems that we who are concerned about the “least among us”, who consider ourselves “our brother’s keeper”, and have this thing about “doing unto others as we would have done unto ourselves” have a definite advantage with this long-haired, commie-pinko guy from way back – yeah, the same guy YOU drag out and re-hang on a cross whenever convenient!

I’m not saying we all believe in his divinity, or ability to save wretches like you from your just rewards – but damn, you can’t miss the fact that he’s more like one of us than one of you. And I hear he’s got some sway with his Dad.

Contrary to popular belief, the Revolution WILL be televised. So please leave your hooded robes at home – white sheets wrapped around pasty white faces tend to come across on-screen as a bland misrepresentation of what America looks like in reality – and, oh, yes, forgot to mention: reality is in play here. Sorry about that. But there will be a home version of the game for all runners-up, a suitable consolation prize for those who mistakenly thought bigotry, homophobia, AND cluelessness were the winning answers.

Now that the rules of engagement have been established, we await your response.

Operators are standing by. And to avoid any further confusion, please use Spellcheck before replying.

NanceGreggs @ Democratic Underground

So it’s the Teabaggers v the Sane. Alrighty, then, let’s do this.

But first, we have to get the ground rules straight.

Right off the bat, I think it imperative that we begin with a level playing field – and that field is gonna take a hell of a lot of leveling.

First off, you (the “Teabaggers”) have to stop griping about being called Teabaggers. You picked the name; we didn’t. The uniforms have already been delivered – and you’ll be wearing them. There’s no turning back now. (Next revolution, you might want to investigate the origins of your name, and perhaps choose more wisely).

Speaking of uniforms, we’ve chosen tasteful, everyday attire. It would seem you have chosen sweatshirts that desecrate the American flag by plastering it over your flabby stomachs and substantial butts. If you have reconsidered this choice, please advise.

Please be more specific in your complaints. Placards that read “Keep the guvmint’s hands off my Medicaid” have us confused. Being as Medicaid is now, always has been, and always will be a guvmint-run program, we’re not quite sure what you’re bitchin’ about. We stand ready to be enlightened.

In a Revolution, just as in all things, communication is key. While we, the Sane, have not taken up the cause of making English “are offical language”, we do actually speak it fluently, and can communicate coherently. If you need a time-out to familiarize yourself with spelling and grammar, we are more than happy to accomodate you.

Choosing a leader is also important. We’ve chosen President Barack Obama. We will need to know who your “leader” is forthwith. (Note: If you are leaning towards Sarah Palin or Rush Limbaugh, you should be aware that skill-testing questions, along with drug-testing, will be required.) Again, if you need more time to come up with a leader who can pass either, we are willing to afford you whatever time is necessary.

No backsies – once you’re in, you’re in. This means that we can use public roads, highways, libraries (“liberrries” to you, and we figure there won’t be much of an argument from your side when it comes to their use) – and you can’t. You don’t believe the government should be “intruding” into your personal lives by building/maintaining same. So be it.

There will be no government hand-outs to you or yours – by way of medical treatment if you are injured, Social Security payments, food stamps, welfare, etc. We, on the other hand, will be free to benefit from any and all government “intrusion” into our lives.

Strictly off-limits: wiretapping citizens without a warrant, relegating dissenters to “free speech zones”, arresting and incarcerating anyone as “enemy combatants” without due process of law, subjecting anyone to torture – you know, all that fun stuff you people are so enamored of.

You cannot label anyone as a socialist or communist without being able to coherently and accurately define those terms. We cannot label anyone as an ill-informed douchebag without defining those terms – and we can, just so’s ya know.

Our “official spokespeople” will be named at a later date. We are still choosing from among the many Ph.D.s, Nobel Peace Prize recipients, Pulitzer award winners, and internationally renowned among our ranks. We are assuming you’ll be going with Hannity or Beck – or some other ill-informed douchebag who graduated Come-Loud from the Ding Dong School of Political Wherewithal. Please advise at your earliest convenience.

As in all Great Battles, the overwhelming question is: Whose side God is on?

Well, we’ve done some fact-checking (something you’re unfamiliar with, but you can Google it for a full explanation of the exercise) – and lo and behold, it seems that we who are concerned about the “least among us”, who consider ourselves “our brother’s keeper”, and have this thing about “doing unto others as we would have done unto ourselves” have a definite advantage with this long-haired, commie-pinko guy from way back – yeah, the same guy YOU drag out and re-hang on a cross whenever convenient!

I’m not saying we all believe in his divinity, or ability to save wretches like you from your just rewards – but damn, you can’t miss the fact that he’s more like one of us than one of you. And I hear he’s got some sway with his Dad.

Contrary to popular belief, the Revolution WILL be televised. So please leave your hooded robes at home – white sheets wrapped around pasty white faces tend to come across on-screen as a bland misrepresentation of what America looks like in reality – and, oh, yes, forgot to mention: reality is in play here. Sorry about that. But there will be a home version of the game for all runners-up, a suitable consolation prize for those who mistakenly thought bigotry, homophobia, AND cluelessness were the winning answers.

Now that the rules of engagement have been established, we await your response.

Operators are standing by. And to avoid any further confusion, please use Spellcheck before replying.

NanceGreggs @ Democratic Underground