Trains will become the way to travel in this country a few years after we genetically engineer unicorns that eat decayed downtowns and shit railroad tracks.

And then I realized that much of America lives outside the Mid-Atlantic rail corridor. Sometimes when I’m riding the Acella, commuter rail, light rail, underground rail, I just forget the rest of America is just a bunch unemployed rednecks who don’t realize that “right to work” is short for “right to work you to death” and can’t stand the fact that they might one day pay taxes should they win the lottery.