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Category: Entertainment

How I knew that in the end "Star Trek" wasn't a Nerd Flick

Published by NiteMayr on June 11, 2009

Somehow, all the familiar characters of the old show get themselves instantly put in charge of the bridge of the flagship of the Federation fleet. This does not compute.

–PZ Meyers

After reading an early review that expounded upon the majesty that was an utterly silent space battle I screwed my Nerd Protection Gear into place and went into the theatre expecting to be bored to death by the time the Chief Engineer explained that one could not simply go into Hyperspace and that the Kenetic and Inertial Dampners hadn’t been properly calibrated for such a level of accelleration…

I nodded off while I wrote that.

So it wasn’t that.  Not at all.  Which is great.  I would have been really disappointed in an Action Movie that didn’t make Nerds complain and whine about it’s level of authenticity.  It amazes me that when were are talking about a movie that takes place on space craft that move faster than light and shoot lasers we have to care about how realistic the plot is.  Really?

The only complaint I thought of as the movie got into gear was that they missed the timing on the car going over the cliff, how did they even miss it?  It’s a digitial edit, just just adjust the scene to match it or swap the whole jump into slow motion, take your pick.

I have no complaints about the casting as a whole save for the constant Lip Pursing that Spock was doing; seriously, was that a Zoolander impression?  All through the damn movie too.  It paid off when it became clear that he was just getting ready to eat Uhura’s head whole.

I’m not kidding.

Whole.

One Bite

He’s out of his Vulcan Mind.

Nothing Can Kill Chev Chelios

Published by NiteMayr on May 12, 2009

nothingkillschevvieRight-Click and Choose Save As: HERE

Finally got to see Crank High Voltage.  This unrecognizable mess is Statham in heavy makeup on fire, proving nothing can kill his Hitman-Superman.  I’ll have to sit down and compose a proper review someday soon.

The New BSG sucked, and you know it

Published by NiteMayr on May 1, 2009

After the new BSG (Battle Star Galactica) premiered all the hardcore Nerds I worked with proceeded to lather themselves up in a frenzy over how awesome it was.  I was passingly familiar with the “Original Flavor”  BSG from the 70s and the two things that were acceptable about that (three if you count Lorne Green)  where the Cyon Space Fighters (the toys were great) and the Bear-Dog-Cyborg Daggit.  I Confirmed it was called Daggit using IMDB which has actual editors and not Wikipedia because even I’ve altered the basic facts about a real person and they stayed in place for weeks.  No, I don’t think Strom Thurmon led the First Autogyro Kamikazi squad, but for a while there his Wiki said so [No it didn’t I’m not about to to own up to the actual edit I made, what would be the fun in that?] Anyway, I was familiar with the Magic Underwear angle on the original and decided to avoid the “new one” because I figured that it would end up being some form of Religious Propaganda. If I wanted to watch a show about people on the run from Robotic Religious Zealots, I’d just finish my 700-Club/Litellest Hobo mashup video.

I watched episodes here and there (I’m not so closed-minded that I wouldn’t give it a fair shake)  and felt fairly justified in my “Oh Gee it’s the God Bots versus the Sinner Fleshbags”  opinion.  With all the Greek allusions they at least tried to make it not all about the big Granite Temple, but in the end the new BSG was all about the Magic Underpants and while I was correct; I wish I hadn’t been.  Because when you take the eschatology out of it, the New BSG could have been an alright SF series; the actual actio sequences were fairly good and the Characters were at least, oh hell I can’t even lie that I liked it.  It was crap from top to bottom and filmed by an insane 8 year old with a machine and switched focus  fetish.

The Jumpy camera work and “fun the first time, but crappy forever” blurry and or shaky over the shoulder camera work were just the signature moves of the “we have no content” writers and producers of this show.

The thin characters, the Deus Ex Machina writing.  Why did anyone like this crap?   It came so highly recommended I can only posit that there was some form of addictive substance in the initial broadcasts, and like “Extra Tasty Crispy” formula, people were hooked.

You now what? I could really go for some KFC now.

Fringe Episode 18: Scarier than a Hunting Knife

Published by NiteMayr on April 29, 2009
Yes, that's some spine
Yes, that's some spine
After they went on an on about it being human teeth, wtf are those?
Hey Baby, I haven't even touched you yet!
I saw him twice this episode
I saw him twice this episode - The Witness

fringe118_thewitness2

The big scary this week was killing people by biting their spines open and sucking out their juices.  They made a big deal about the teeth being human:

Teeth: Not Human
Teeth: Not Human

Drinking with the Crazy

Published by NiteMayr on April 28, 2009
Doesn't that face say "Phallus Goes Here"?
Doesn't that face say "Phallus Goes Here"?

Don’t visit his page; it’s infectiously crazy.  DrinkwithBob is all about selling ads for his Mouth Stretching goods.  Not for me; not for you.  If you need yuor mouth stretched, let me suggest the Pear of Agony.  It’s less of a chore.

Visual Evidence that you're wrong

Published by NiteMayr on April 22, 2009

goodluckfatty

I had the misfortune of reading “Miss Eva”s twitter feed:

@perez hilton stick to Hollywood gossip. Leave the morals of America alone. Miss America is entitled to her views.9:06 AM Apr 21st from web

Miss California is a strong woman. I’m glad we still have young people with morals and values.9:08 AM Apr 21st from web

Perez Hilton, should stick to what he is good at, hating on celebrities. He is a gay man with no moral values.9:09 AM Apr 21st from web

The Miss America judges should be brought to task.9:10 AM Apr 21st from web

I’m not fond of the “She’s got strong morals” crowd; because if you are familiar with what Miss C said she said she was “Bible Correct”  [SHE’S A BEAUTY QUEEN WEARING MAKEUP AND SHOWING OFF HER BOOBS].  Morals are such mercurial things, sigh.

So, the point of this post.

I went to “TeamRose” or “Miss Evas” blog and read about their Fast.  Their fast started in 2007 and it’s two years later and they have lost a total of 48 pounds.  Yup. They’re not cheating.

Morals Morals Morals Eva.


Amazing Spider-Man 591: Unthinkable!

Published by NiteMayr on April 18, 2009

This is how the comic opens:

headlessspidey

ARG!

The Headless Spider-Man!

If you didn’t catch Issue 590; Spider-Man was given a blank checque, made out to Cash to join the FF on a journey to the “MacroVerse” in response to a summons from the (formerly) grass hut living primitives there.

Johnny got it up his nose to see what was under the mask of the mysterious Spider-Man and THIS is what he found.  Eeeeeww.

Without giving away too much, time is compressed while they are in the Macroverse and about 13 and 1/3 days go by (about two weeks, sheesh).  This is a nice way to move time forward in the Spidey-Verse so that things can go down.

Something goes down that makes Spider-Man react like this:

Oh, No! Aunt May is Dating Dr. Octopus AGAIN!?!?!
Oh, No! Aunt May is Dating Dr. Octopus AGAIN!?!?!

Actually; no.  It’s not Aunt May.  It’s something much more horrifying to Spider-Man (even worse that Osborn as President!?!?!?) you’ll have to check out the issue to find out,  I promise you’ll enjoy it.