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Bathgate no More … Wid Ye No send us Back a Letter?

Sometime in the far future that I can’t see now, I’ll head over the big pond with Spawn and Wife in Tow and visit the “old country” and they’ll see the dirt that spawned me; someday.

Here’s an old hit about Great Britain from my VOX Blog:

There are disused lots and fields all over the outskirts of
your home town. Somewhere there is the graveyard of a disused factory
or farm. When you were young, did you go and check it out? Did you
investigate the remains of a former workplace or home?

When I
was a teenager, and visiting Scotland, my friend Stuart and I dissected
the remains of Industrial and postwar Scotland as it appeared around
Bathgate. We dug through old paperwork in a broken farmhouse, climbed
stairs that hadn’t seend feet in 20 years and destroyed (through
misadventure) a wall that had been built before Churchill had walked on
the planet. We had our hands in the guts of living and dead history.
You’d have thought I was going to be an anthropologist or archaeologist
of some stripe the way I immersed myself in the past. Arms deep as it
were.

We squatted in those fields and with our rough tribe of
peers we listened to music and some of us got high and drunk in the
remains of the British Empire. Not the grand houses or castles, but
the forgotten entrails of industrial estates and disused farms.

I
watched kids lose themselves in what may have been the former grounds
of their Grandfather’s employer. They didn’t see the irony of their
idle decay among the decay of their country. They faced a future of
service jobs and had no idea that the only thing that they would ever
produce in Britain again was culture. This was before the REAL
worldwide rise of Brit Pop in the 90s. These guys are Mothers and
Fathers now, last I heard Stuart was a surfer. Still exploring the
reaches of the British Empire.

Now you ask yourself, what does this have to do with Music?

Well,
British Music exists solely as a reflection of the Music that has come
before, all Music in Britain is measured by it’s predecessor. This is
true in the case of “Kasabian” as it is in the case of “The Beatles”.
All British culture is just “how is this better than this other thing
that came before”, which is probably an outgrowth of the fact that the
British isles are filled to the brim with the remains of the past. One
can hardly walk in one direction for more than an hour without
stumbling over some piece of history older than the houses on your
block.

It’s no wonder the kids squat in fields filled with relics, it’s fairly unavoidable.

I
haven’t been home in over a decade, I don’t know if those fields are
gone or developed. I apparently left Scotland for the last time just
before a huge development boom, when the people were still hard and the
CCTV cameras hadn’t overpopulated the towns. So I don’t know how
things are now, maybe they have cleaned up the Past and moved on.

It’s just a story after all.

Tina Fey wants kids to go to Jail for Taping Baby Momma

New York introduces anti-piracy bill

Under the proposed bill, first-time offenders would face up to one year in jail and a $1,000 fine. Offenses would be elevated from violation status to a Class A misdemeanor. Repeat offenders would be charged with a felony.

State Senator Frank Padavan also argued that money from piracy has flown from organized crime syndicates to purposes threatening national security. “A lot of this is going to terrorism,” he said, citing Islamic group Hezbollah as one beneficiary.

In a moment that drew laughs, Lentol urged citizens to stop supporting film piracy even though some stars make $20 million and more per film, then turned to Fey to ask: “Is that what you make?” The reply was loud and clear: “Nooo!”

“It’s not about studio executives, it isn’t about movie stars or anyone else who rides in limousines,” Lentol said. “It’s about the assistant make-up artist” and other hard-working entertainment folks who may lose their jobs if piracy continues at current levels.

Clearly, the Movie industry is going to pack up and stop making films if Piracy continues. Sure. Instead the answer is to jail 20-somethings when they film short clips of movies using their camera phones and frisk people as they enter a theater. That’s the way to behave.

People like to remind folks in the service industry that “they pay their bills” well, Movie Industry, without an audience, you have no money. Prosecuting your customers is no way to make money.

I buy every movie I like. Without fail. I had as many as 600 DVDs in my collection before I moved back to Canada. I still have something on the north side of 400 on hand. I love movies, but hate the industry built up around it. Not in some “Corporations Bad” kind of way, but in a “I pay for that crap and I am still treated like I’m their employee and have to follow their rules” kind of way. Face it Movie Industry, we’re your Daddy/Mommy and you have to do what we say, we pay your allowance.

And in some form of Bullshit Bingo winning maneuver they linked it to terrorism.

Wow, when Tina Fey (Writer/Actress/PRODUCER) sinks low, she really sinks.

Maybe she should try, I dunno, making money from TV or something.

Oh yeah.

Clown shoes, I tell yeah. Total Clown Shoes.

Hey Chuck, is there a God?

Is There A God? | The A.V. Club

Chuck Palahniuk wrote Fight Club and four other novels, including the new Lullaby.

The Onion: Is there a God?

Chuck Palahniuk: Yes.

O: Care to elaborate?

CP: Boy. Let me get back to you when I’m dead.

That’s a fairly sensible answer to a sometimes loaded question, it’s kind of like asking a Scotsman what team he likes.

When I was little I would have told you, YES! Emphatically.

When I was a teenager, I would have told you YES! Then I would have told you about how the vow of celibacy was keeping me from the cloth.

After My Mum got cancer (even after years of faithful church service) and my Dad followed along just as soon I was shaken; add to that the clear evidence that the Roman Catholic church (and pretty much every other Church) are simply spiritual shell games based upon clear myth and you get a strong agnostic. So the answer now is “Maybe, but hopefully not”

I’ve long held that Prayer “for” stuff is blasphemy (as you are trying to mess with God’s big plan) and if there is a God things will happen as they do so why bother either way. If I go to hell, I win (eternal torment is still eternal) If I go to Heaven I win (Cha Ching it didn’t matter what I did on Earth!) if I just die, well, I won’t know, right? It’s all about seeing the silver lining in death. (Isn’t there a song about that?)

On a side note: We’re all out of soda here and I think I’m gonna have to head out and get some, maybe I can pray for some to come my way?

Nope, praying for soda from the sky didn’t work.

see, no God of Soda Delivery at all

Dear Corporations – Please Sponsor Me

Bands are getting into bed with consumer brands – Times Online

From boutique favorites such as Agent Provocateur and Joe Bloggs to icons of the global hyper-mall such as Diesel, Yahoo!, Audi and Coca-Cola, brands have awoken to music’s potential as a powerful communication tool, and a content gold rush is on. Under the “lifestyle” umbrella, household names are seeking out, signing and promoting music. And far from heralding a sellout, taking the corporate shilling may be the smartest career move a struggling artist can make.

I’ve struggled for years to gain true creative and social autonomy to create my ART as I see fit. Usually I have survived on my earnings and created ART on my own dime, I’d love to have some BRAND come along and throw cash at me to focus solely on creative works like my Blog and Photography. It seems to me that I’d first have to create some form of cultural cache that would bring the attention of the soul-patch and turtleneck types that would patron my style of creative outpouring.

Let me be the first Scottish Blogger who lives in London to do it, Dear Corporations “give me money to write this blog”.

I will lay out the law here before we start our relationship though:

  1. I demand full creative control, I even get to make fun of the brand if it annoys me.
  2. You will smile when you ask me to do something.
  3. You will look like I have done something nice for you when I have obviously created something horrible. Perhaps it will sell in Soho?
  4. We will mutually describe me as “L’enfant Terribley” which we think is something French that means that I am a precocious child of some sort when the term “el nino” a Spanish word for boy that describes a series of horrible storms is more accurate.
  5. You will eventually pay me money to go away. This is (as I understand things) the way of the world, and I will go away with my heavy bags of filthy lucre. I will describe them as such when I sleep on them.

See, 5 simple rules to buy my art and grow your Brand.

I have a readership somewhere between Ann Coulter’s true liberal confessions and zero; but I’m sure with the correct positioning and ground swell from your street teams we can get your Brand on my pages and my Art in your Brand.

We’ll be like Reese’s Pieces.

oh enjoy the snark, some days I’m actually funny