Do me a favor. The next couple of days when you go into work, pat a co-worker on the back. Then, after you’ve established you’re a back-patter, pat him or her on the butt instead.

Notice how you’re now sitting through a sexual harassment seminar? That’s because the buttocks are an erogenous zone, just like nipples. Now, I’m not saying that parents who spank their children are doing it with erotic intent, of course. But I would suggest that if you wouldn’t put a clothespin on your kid’s nipple for misbehaving, maybe think twice about applying pain to another erogenous zone.

I know, you got mild torture on your erogenous zone when you were a kid, and you grew up just fine, and the problem with kids today is no one is torturing their erogenous zones, I get it. But maybe we should think twice about the whole erogenous-zone-torture thing.