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Author: NiteMayr

Before:

Kevin was born on the mossy hills of Scotland and lived for a while in West Lothian before the mores of pre-Thatcher and REALLY pre-Oasis Great Britain sent his family across the ocean to North America. They moved here and there and Kevin did the same when he was old enough. Now he lives in London with his family and a Dog.

Kevin Wardrop is an amateur writer, amateur photographer and professional pain in the ass. He has worked in the PC support business for most of his adult life and has been accustomed to simply answering technical questions as a matter of fiat, it was his career choice after all. Now he herds cats and puppies for a living as well as babysitting the web enterprises at the heart of western industry.

Short Story: Lights Out Part 1

Life in a high rise office is alright; at least most of the time.  You sometimes have to deal with recycled air or “sick building” syndrome, but you get great views from the windows and the feeling that you are above it all, down there on the ground.  Some buildings even have mezzanine levels that extend from the building with gardens or cafe’s that let you get outside and look right down on the city below.   The only time a high rise is a real pain is when the power goes out.

Which happens now.

“Click”

Shit! Janice thought, mid sentence in an email to her never-far-enough-away college buddy Burgess, a boy who never grew up and a townie from Moorehead.  Burgess was having some kind of family crisis out there in Moorehead and had wanted Janice to come out and help him deal.  Janice was mid “No fucking way…” when the lights had dimmed then flashed off, along with her monitor.

She stood up and watched the Prairie-Dog city that was the cube farm stand up together and look around, the murmers that never seemed to cease had paused and everyone looked at each other for some kind of idea what happened.  The emergency lights clicked on and some people started to walk for the stairs.  Janice started to pack up her stuff and join them when a voice came over the PA

“Ladies and Gentlemen, this is Security Chief Mike Pendegrass, please remain in your offices and keep the stairs clear at this time.  I repeat please keep the stairs clear at this time”  the PA hissed, beeped and went silent.

“Aww, what the hell!?” Frank James on Janice’s Left collapsed back into his chair, his dangerous weight nearly collapsing it.  He unplugged his laptop and fired it up, intent on continuing his work.

Janice sat back down. but finished packing up her stuff and then rolled her chair over to the window, where there was enough light to read by.  She took out a collection of short stories she had been carting around with her and began to read, waiting for the power to come back on or for the all-clear to leave.

Around the office, people either returned to what work they could or began to mill around in groups, gossiping or making guesses about what was going on.  Janice tried to concentrate on her book, the story she was reading was about a bunch of guys in an office dealing with some sort of miniature priest outbreak, but she couldn’t get into it.  She leaned her head against the floor to cieling window and looked down into the streets.  Her phone lit up and vibrated at her hip.

“Janice, are you okay?” it was Burgess.

“What do you mean Burg’?  Yeah, I’m cool”  Janice noticed alot of people getting calls, all of them some variation of “I’m Okay” or “What? What do you mean Bombing?”

Janice stood up and pushed her chair to her desk and walked out to the cafe at the end of the office, to get a better view of the streets.

“Janice, Jan.  A bomb went off in Saint Paul, it’s gone, blown up!” Burgess was frantic.

“Burg’ I’m in the office right now looking down at the street, there’s nothing going on down there, all the lights are out, but I can see cars and some lights out there.  It’s just some sort of power out or some…”

Janice looked out at the sky, it had twin Suns set in a sickly green-blue.

“Burgess, I’m gonna have to call you back”

Twitter Updates for 2008-10-14

  • Voting this evening, Not For the Liberals (Local Candidate Blew me Off) Not for the Tories (Why would I) Not for Christian Heritage…. #
  • My ID card is borked… need to get i fixed this AM #
  • I’ll never understand opinion pieces with no byline http://online.wsj.com/article/SB122385651698727257.html #
  • I quadrupled the storage on my Compact Camera. 4 times the random pictures. Now I just need a life. LoL #
  • CPRI called my desk number 8 times over the weekend, what’s up with that? They didn’t even leave a message. #
  • Oh, uh, Don’t forget to Vote, it’s your country. #
  • Trying to write a long-form criticism of Political Schisms and coming up empty, might just write a critical piece…. #
  • @Ultramegakungfu One of the Canadian papers that I’ve lauded for it’s fact-based work and it’s opinion bits are anonymous too. Strange. in reply to Ultramegakungfu #
  • It’s hell waiting for important feedback. #
  • BTW, Crossed is a great comic if you are into either “Survivor” Fiction or “Zombie” fiction, avoid please if you are a Care Bears Fan #
  • @RevNathan On that I don’t disagree, that scene with “Look at what you did!” at the end unnerved me. Did you read my review? in reply to RevNathan #
  • For Americans worried about ID requirements for voting, check this out: http://tinyurl.com/4dcum4 (I can’t vote) #
  • I take that back, I CAN vote, phew. #
  • Don’t take my word for it; http://www.100reasons.ca/ Check out #20 #
  • @RevNathan NEEEEEEERRRRRRRRD! in reply to RevNathan #
  • It’s fall, there are leaves and stuff everywhere now, what is the best looking park in the London area for photos? #
  • Oh, I watched “No Heroics” TimeBomb was the only sensible character on the show. I actually cringed through a great deal of it, not 4 kids #
  • Turkey soup for dinner, maybe with grilled cheese? #
  • Cooking the Soup via Remote; Jen is adding stuff to it as I call and think of new stuff to add it it. #
  • I really do believe that some people don’t recognize that divine-right = feudalism :. != Freedom. #
  • I’ll say it again, if some corporate entity wants to pay me for the crazy stuff I write online, I’m always game to sell out for a price. #
  • Awwww CRAP! http://tinyurl.com/45pmfe #
  • Conservatives = Lip Service to your Deeply Held Beliefs | Liberals = Who cares what your beliefs are, take ours or nothin’! |Take your pick! #
  • I wonder how my soup is doing? Does it need more pepper? #
  • Office People; It’s Practically Wednesday already. Don’t forget to vote! #
  • The cooking smells here at the plant make me insanely hungry. #
  • I voted, my wife was disenfranchised, this time #LdnVotes08 #
  • @happyguy There are a few Tories in here, really. in reply to happyguy #

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Review: Step Brothers

Step Brothers

John C. Reily and Will Ferrell play the Man-Boy roles they may have been waiting their entire careers for as two spoiled and pampered manchildren of Single parents, they are faced with losing their status as the sole focus of their respective parent’s attention and fend for themselves.

An uneven and sometimes hilarious comedy. That is the single best thing one can say about this movie. Both Actors do exactly what you expect of them and 60% of the good laughs are in the trailer. I actually stopped watching the movie at points; cringing at the craven way the two men behaved. There are some notably funny moments, but the package as a whole is flawed. I’d recommend watching this as a rental or borrow it from your friend who buys all of Will Ferrell’s movies without question.

My rating: 2.5 stars
**1/2

Criticism aside, there is one scene in the movie that literally brought me to coughing racks of tears, I was laughing so hard. Imagine the massive fight between Neo and Agent Smith but 100 times more brutal and with school-aged children in the role of the massive crowd. Now imagine Will Ferrel swinging a small child as a weapon.

That one scene almost redeemed this movie to a solid 4.0. almost.

Our Immense Turkey

Over this past weekend, my family and I celebrated our Second Thanksgiving since returning from the USA.  If one was to ask me what my preferred Thanksgiving is, I’d pick the US version, it comes later in the year and kicks off the Christmas Season (well, it used to) at the right time.  Snow is falling and fall is dissolving into Winter.

Thanksgiving in Canada is a practical and parochial affair, marking the end (or is it the middle) of the Harvest. Coming before the snow even starts to fall (it’s going to be in the 70s today and I was sweating out in the muggy morning today if ever there was an upside to Global Climate Problems it’s muggy Octobers), Canadian Thanksgiving is a celebration of the agricultural largesse of the country and the bounties that it provides.  Rather than a celebration of gorged appetites and pre-Christmas shopping.  No Black Friday here, you see.

Despite my preference for the American version, I dutifully invited my In-Laws over to the townhouse for a meal (My Sister in Law declined, in order to work) and we bought what we thought would be a decent sized, but still quite small Turkey.  In the end our 27 dollar monster turned out to be far more than we could easily handle and provided us with the raw materials for at least a weeks worth of meals if we played our cards right.

Two legs for soup, dark meat too.  Two immense halves of the breast for sandwiches and just sliced for meals.  The remaining bulk turned into curry and soup meat.  The Bones were boiled overnight to make a nice stock, along with the carcass of a Chicken cooked on Saturday.  The remaining greasy bits were disposed of, I hate to do that and wished for a bigger stock pot to boil the remaning “meat” out of them.  It would need to be strained, but I could have had three big soup pots out of the remaining bits alone, I’m sure.

We’re trying to wring all we can from our nearly 30-Dollar Turkey, but it’s just so much.  I’m tempted to return to our old rule of buying the more expensive (but utilitarian) Breast Only Turkey.  Which I’m sure makes the whole waste matter all the worse, but at least I don’t throw out the bits and pieces on my own, you know?

Are Turkey bits good for Composting?  Should I compost meats?  I don’t know, I should look into that.

However, this is not really about the Turkey that sits in my Fridge and soup pot today.  I’m actually looking at a much bigger Turkey today.

Canada prospered for a while in the hands of the Tories, but even my cursory and shallow understanding of the position of the Canadian Dollar and it’s buying power has revealed that the “prosperous” Canadian economy is really only so when the Petrodollar is valuable.  Which is what the Harper Government has led us into.  The whole value of the Canadian Dollar is tied to the price of Oil, and as that price slides, so too do the prospects of Canadians in terms of buying power and position on World Markets.  Canada lives and dies on it’s raw materials exports and the Harper Government has, for the most part let this slide in deference to the Thanksgiving Banquets to the south.  Of course, Thanksgiving isn’t for another month and a bit in the US and it looks like this might be the leanest in years.  Instead of gorging on our Resources, it may be that they are sipping them from a thousand cuts and another Harper government may allow the cheap death of Canada to continue.  Our National Turkey indeed.

Review: Crossed #1

Crossed Issue One Preview, originally uploaded by Kevin Wardrop.

I’ve read a number of “Horror” comics, and more than my share of Zombie Comics in my day. I don’t think that I’ve ever really turned a page and then immediately wanted to skip what I’m seeing so quickly until I saw the Climax of this Comic.

It’s a real achievement for a Writer and Artist to come together and create something that shocks as effectively as the best horror movie. Better still if one can be equally repulsed at the same time. This Comic is truly horrifying and frightening.

Frightening like crowds of flesh hungry Peckerwoods with permanent viagra hard-ons and shrieking harridan meth-head women.

Frightening like the total breakdown of society into Paunchy Nerds and Wiry Speed freaks with Knives and dangerous libidos.

Not to mention the fact that a Nuclear Bomb has gone off in the Geographical Neighborhood.

Not To Mention that society has broken down.

You can Check out Crossed at your local Comic Store and if they don’t have it, check out Avatar Press

Story by Garth Ennis, Art by Jacen Burrows

You can check out more of my photographs at: Flickr

Twitter Updates for 2008-10-11

  • @definetheline I saw a wedding photographer shoot a whole ceremony with a 70-300 macro lens once in reply to definetheline #
  • Movies and Sleep soon. #
  • Wow, all of the “Serious” folks are starting to show up at the McCain/Palin Rallies, huh? #
  • The Massive Man/Child Crowd fight at the end of Stepbrothers made me laugh so hard I cried. Not the best movie ever, but Funny. #
  • @LiberalTour I think they are trying to get free swag, ask them to get tattoos to prove it. in reply to LiberalTour #

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