I wrote this out in various forms over the years, but I can’t seem to get it down in a way that will make me money. Maybe this will make you money.
Short Synopsis: A middle-aged social worker is left holding the bag when one of her care in the community clients goes missing on the subway after a meeting. The client is haunted by dreams of being a fighter during the crusades saved by monks of an unholy order, worshippers of a devil older than Christianity and darker than the black halls of their cloisters. The social worker enlists the help of a down on his luck police sergeant and his teenage runaway son in a search through the halls of the city’s underground and the dark reaches of the tortured mind of a man lost in time. Now the homeless are going missing and body parts are being found in dumpsters all over the city.
Long Version:
Our hero is a Social Worker, she’s middle aged, single and committed to her job. She’s smart, capable and single-minded. She is literally married to her job and has little time for social contacts. She splits her time between her care in the community office job and volunteering for local NGOs and social programs. What spare time she has is spent researching the histories of her clients, she has a voyeuristic bent that drives her to delve deeper and deeper into the pasts of the lost people who wander into her life. She keeps a telescope hooked to a webcam that she can control from her website so she can observer the streets outside her apartment at any time and from anywwhere.
The mystery man is a vagrant who drifts from care facilities to the street and back again. Violent and disruptive, he often finds himself in trouble with the law, which suits him fine as they keep him heavily medicated and trapped behind bars; where he feels safe. He is plagued by dreams of being a crusader, cutting down men in the middle east, only to be felled by an arrow to the chest. He dreams of being taken to a monastary that hides a deep and deadly sect of Faustian monks, who have dealt with devils and demons older than Christianity. He also dreams of stalking the streets of the city, unleashing these same demons on the poor and unfortunates in the alleys and subways of the city. After his last visit with the hero he has decided to seek refuge in the deep tunnels of the city, only to find that the Monks that he dreamed of are real and operating under the guise of a Charity for the homeless in the city.
The Sargeant and his son are at constant odds, typical father-son conflicts; but the son has run away and the sargeant reaches out the hero for help in locating his son in the system. The Sargeant is burnt out, sad that he has lost his son to the streets. The Son left home to try and stretch his wings and gain some freedom from his “cop” father, he meets our mystery man in the streets and befriends him. The son witnesses some of the horrors that creep from the mystery man during the night and looks for his father and our hero.
The “big bad” is a demon of the C’thulu level mythos, an old Demon who has been working with “The Order of the Whole” since before the Crusades. The Monks are led by a charismatic old monk who is a figure in the city of ill-repute. There is a vague air of menace around the order, but they are a generous charity who house and feed anyone who comes to their door. They are feeding the homeless the remains of their compatriots, used in dark rituals to commune with their demon lords.
Plot arc: The Mystery man is introduced, walking into a police station and assaulting 5 police officers in acrobatic fashion, breaking at least two arms. He is left in the care of the hero, to whom he relates some of his story (leaving out details about what he gets up to at night). She concludes that while he is violent, he needs care and he is taken in an ambulance to a sanitarium for further observation. Our hero looks into his past hsitry and sees hundreds of arrests. The mystery man is “lost” en route by the ambulance drivers, who stopped for a bite to eat. This sets in motion the events that lead to the sargeant and the hero meeting. After finding the monks, the mystery man is led by the demons to commit more and more horrors. It is revealed that he is in fact the Crusader that he dreamed about, and he has been alive these many years, cursed by the demons after he slaughtered the whole order save one initiate (the leader of the order now). It is the hero who in the end must face and defeat the whole order and the demons themselves.
MUST. RESIST. TEMPTATION. TO. DEFEND. COMEDIAN
Published by NiteMayr on June 24, 2008Ack! I want to defend Mike Myers so much. He’s a big boy, so he can stand for himself I’m sure. I just hate when a comedian gets on the “not funny now” list like this. It would be different if this column hadn’t pointed at Superbad and Knocked up as examples of with it comedy; then I’d have let this pass unmolested. But to point to Seth Rogan and Jonah Hill and say “THEY ARE THE FUTURE OF COMEDY” is just wrong.
Over ten years of Kevin Smith wrong.
I liked both of these movies, just like I liked a bunch of other foul-mouthed dick and fart joke movies. I like dick and fart jokes and can’t deny it. I also like stupid accents and physical comedy. Mike Myers has embraced what makes him funny and people have decided “so what else is new?” Jim Carrey faced this when he tried to put his brand of humor into established places and failed (which made the whole cat in the hat thing kind of puzzling to me really) Mr. Carrey tried to turn what had made “Fire Marshal Bill” “My, Myself & Irene” funny into something that could pass from movie to movie; forgetting the humanity that the Characters were hapless losers that won out in the end.
Mr. Myers might want to stretch himself more in the future though, as it appears he is going to be castigated for doing what television sitcoms do for years on end, giving the audience more of the same with the same cast and so on. This afflicts a bunch of comedians, and kind of seperates the comedy fans from the deliatants, the die hards will accept more of the same if it is still funny and the masses just want something new and possibly shocking. Which is why “I don’t want to offend you…” by Bobcat Goldwaith was a hit with standup fans and no more than a blip on the radar of the general public. It was more of the same, but the delivery and material was so great, who cares that you knew all the punchlines?
I like to think of great comedy like I think of great music, you can hear the same phrases and motions over and over and still enjoy it. Sometimes you can find new textures and flavours in it. I think that Mr. Myers has tried to put a new spin on an old act and found people don’t want a new spin, they just want new.