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Day: March 18, 2009

Holy Crap these people have NO shame

Rush Limbaugh recently said: “I am all for the AIG bonuses” and attacked the Obama administration for trying to undo them. He also blasted Dem efforts to get the names of the AIG bonus recipients as “McCarthyism.”

Fox News followed suit, also comparing Dems to “Joe McCarthy.” And Sean Hannity has now derided efforts to tax the execs by saying: “In other words, we’re going to just steal their money.”

When these people say “they are for the little guy” they mean “Short CEOs”

Lists: Literary Geek

I received this note because NathanW thinks I am a literary geek.

1) What author do you own the most books by?
William Gibson if you don’t include Comics/Graphic Novels | Warren Ellis if you do

2) What book do you own the most copies of?

3) Did it bother you that both those questions ended with prepositions?

No, this is an informal questionnaire.
4) What fictional character are you secretly in love with?
Spider Jerusalem, it’s a bromance.

5) What book have you read the most times in your life (excluding picture books read to children; i.e., Goodnight Moon does not count)?
Hmmm…. This is another of those, if you count Comics deal…

Starship Troopers if it’s just Novels

The Transmetropolitain series if you include Comics
6) What was your favorite book when you were ten years old?

Adventures with Hal?

7) What is the worst book you’ve read in the past year?
The show that Smells. AWFUL!

8) What is the best book you’ve read in the past year?
A World made by hand.

9) If you could force everyone you tagged to read one book, what would it be?
Choke by Chuck Palinuick

10) Who deserves to win the next Nobel Prize for Literature?
Warren Ellis

11) What book would you most like to see made into a movie?

12) What book would you least like to see made into a movie?
Monster Island

13) Describe your weirdest dream involving a writer, book, or literary character.

14) What is the most lowbrow book you’ve read as an adult?
The Show that Smells

15) What is the most difficult book you’ve ever read?
Paul of Dune

16) What is the most obscure Shakespeare play you’ve seen?
Can’t say any of them have been obscure.

17) Do you prefer the French or the Russians?

18) Roth or Updike?

19) David Sedaris or Dave Eggers?

20) Shakespeare, Milton, or Chaucer
Chaucer, but I haven’t read him.

21) Austen or Eliot?

22) What is the biggest or most embarrassing gap in your reading?
This past six months.

23) What is your favorite novel?
Hard to choose.

24) Play?
As you like it.

25) Poem?
Files.  By me.

26) Essay?
The Singapore one by William Gibson

27) Short story?
Petra by Greg BEar.

28) Work of nonfiction?
No Black,s Irish Dogs, the Johnny Rotten Biography.

29) Who is your favorite writer?
Warren Ellis & Chuck Paliniuck

30) Who is the most overrated writer alive today?
Orson Scott Card

31) What is your desert island book?
Emergency Survival Guide of some sort.

32) And… what are you reading right now?

A Wild Cards novel, forget the name (they are all kinda trashy) just finished Blood Crazy and Paul of Dune

Review: Zombie Frank Herbert might do a better job

Anyone who has read a review on my site before will be familiar with my “Stars” rating system; I will forgo this system initially to provide for you a reaction shot of me; while I read this:


This may look like I might have been enjoying myself; but you are reading my expression incorrectly.  I am about to poke my eyes out with “The Horns”.  This was to prevent the blood that gathered behind them from exploding from my sockets in a hematic squirt.

Paul of Dune

Frank Herbert’s son attempts to fill in some of the Plot of Dune, with predictably hilarious results.

Did I say Hilarious? I meant unreadable.

My rating: 0.5 stars

It took me months to trod through this drek.  I’m not a fan of Space Opera at all; this book simply cements my poor opinion of the Genre.  Thanks to Mini Book Expo for the chance to read this one; I will forgo resiting my instincts on these books in the future, Scion of Herbert be DAMNED!

Twitter Updates for 2009-03-18

  • Up at 10, Lunch at noon, Dinner at Midnight? LoL #
  • It’s getting kinda cool in here, closing windows! #
  • Thanks internet #
  • I have produced pseudo-roti for dinner tonight…. they are wrapped for me to eat later. #
  • Fixing ReWrite Rules…. #
  • Now I’m torn, anyone going to see the Hip at Harris Park #
  • AH, finally my picture is up to date,,,, ReWrite rule is still not working #
  • It is impossible to read the host name the user is connecting to before the SSL handshake is complete… damn #
  • When I was out for a break I realized that I have dishes to clean when I get home… at 2:20 or so in the morning. Being a Bachelor sucks #
  • Ignoring the dead weight #
  • Cleaned up the writing section of my blog… don’t miss Project Billy! #
  • This whiskeyy isn’t fit for human consumption! I think my mouth is about to melt #
  • Goodnight all; no more tweeting or facebook for me tonight…. #
  • Okay, one more post. Spammer blocked! the same name again spammer? Creativity fail! #
  • Good Night All, for real this time. Happy Birthday to Josie! #

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You are just bitter because you are a nerd

In the end many don’t. I was in a small enough town that I went through school with some students that were in 1st grade with me. I was a “jet” in the reading department. I was reading the “see Jane run” crowd on day one. There were kids there still working on the alphabet. They “caught them up” to me, but predominately these kids were always a step behind. By high school graduation, I was headed off to engineering school, and most of them were lucky to be getting a degree (a couple never did). My guess is that these kids never really were “caught up”, but merely were able to pass some test (potentially more of a subjective test than an objective one). And I’d bet I spent the summers going to the “book mobile” and reading 5 or more books a week (many psuedo nonfiction subject books of inventors and historical figures) while they probably watched alot of TV and hung out at some play ground.

It’s not that kids can’t be helped to “catch up”, it’s that the reasons they are behind in the first place rarely go away. Exceptions abound of course, but to presume that a teacher/school can “catch up” a kid without really addressing how or why he is “behind” in the first place would seem to me to be an institutionalized form of “betting against the house”. Apparently they see that with Head Start. They get these kids up and running, but as they progress through elementary school, with out the cointinued help, they just fall behind again.

Some Nerd, DU

Whenever someone puts into writing how many books they read over the summer; especially when followed up with “and those other kids wasted their time playing” you got yourself an insufferable fucking nerd on your hands.  Anyone who thinks education is wasted on people really needs to be sterilized.  Now.  We can live without more of their ilk clouding up the world;  I know it’s not likely someone with such a toxic attitude will ever reproduce, but let’s nip this in the bud now.

This is the same kind of person who votes to cut taxes; then complains about the state of government services and infrastructure.  They ask questions about social services like “Why can’t they do more with less?”

It’s like their terminal lack of human contact made them into some kind of other species; devoid of human empathy or reason.

I have no doubt that this person is better educated than I am; seriously.  What has that done for them?

Short Story: Lights Out Part 9

The building shaddered in time with the sounds that woke the sleeping people huddled throughout the Feldex building.  Thumping and bass-rich blows pounded the whole structure.  When the people in the shaken offices looked outside, they could see buildings collapsing around them.  Skyscrapers that had dominated the skyline were falling all around the Feldex building, scorched buildings gave up their skeletons and fell upon the streets.  Dust and debris flowed through the streets now like angry crowds, blanketing them in brown, choking demise.

Janice had found Frank overnight; he was curled up in an empty office and had slept through the horrifying night.  The corpses on the balcony had given up slamming themselves into the windows and doors and simply dived off of the edge of the building into the waiting streets.

The office was quiet now save for the noise of the Office buildings of Saint Paul dying as surely has the people that had occupied them had.

Security Chief Mike Pendegras came on to the PA:

“Ladies and Gentlemen; this is the security Chief.  Our building is in no danger of falling.  We have not suffered the damage that the fallen buildings have.  We are intact and remain secure.  We caution you again to remain in your offices and to report any activity that seems threatening or dangerous.”

After he clicked off the PA, Mike Pendegrass exhaled and tried to slump into his chair.  His teams had swepth the building for any more “Zombies” and locked the main staircase tight.  Nothing from the 25th floor or above was going to come down that way again; no one would be going up again either.

Chief Pendegras had received a call from his dead father overnight; he had thought it was a dream at first; but some of his team had received calls from their relatives too.  Chief Pendegras wasn’t one to accept the supernatural; but his faith in the solidity of his convictions had been sorely tempted.

“Chief!, Chief!  There is an APC outside of the building!” it was one of the new kids up on 13.  “Chief, do you get me?”

“I get ya kid, where is it? Over”

“Chief, it’s right outside the front entrance, it’s got a scoop up front like a bulldozer, it pushed through like a snow plow!  Chief, there is a sign painted on the top: 555-573-7878”

The Chief recognized a cell-phone number when he heard one; “OKay kid.  Keep an eye on it. Chief out”

Chief Pendegrass picked up his cell phone and dialed the number:

“Hello, Disaster recovery.  Were are you calling from?”

“This is Security Chief Mike Pendegras.  Before I tell you where I am; tell me who you are.”

“Sir, I am a coordinator from a former Fema Unit stationed in Saint Paul.  I am tasked with coordinating the APCs we have on hand to retrieve survivors and send them back through to Earth”

“So, the scientist on the phones was real?”

“Yes sir.  Where are you?”

“I’m not sure about all of this; some strange shit is going down here Ma’am.  Can you have the APC’s around the city flash some kind of friendly si..”

Outside the building, Mike Pendegras heard the thunder of a belt-fed machine gun firing.

“Chief! The soldiers in the APC, they are shooting at people in the street!  Holy Shit!  The people, they are getting back up and running at the APC!  FUCK!  The soldier on the tank blew their heads off.”

“OKay Kid, I got you.  Over”

“Listen Fema Lady.  What is going on here?”

“I thought that the communication last night was clear.  We are on an extrasolar planet and we are sending people home as fast as we can.”

“My phone was OFF when that call came in”

“Sir, If I may be frank. If you don’t think we have the technology to turn phones on remotely, you haven’t been watching enough movies.  Let me be clear, a scientist teleported a  massive section of Saint Paul to another planet, turning on cell phones remotely is within our scope”

“Fair enough Ma’am.  How, precisely do we decide who goes back in that APC outside?”

“You have an APC nearby?  Excellent!  What number is it”

“Kid, 13.  What number is on that APC?”

“NG-101, sir”

“Ma’am, the APC outside is labelled NG-101”

“Thank-you Mr. Pendegrass, please send out 10 people to meet the APC and be transported to our holding facility.  We will send a bus out for the rest as soon as we have up-armored enough of them for the trip.  Send only the people who could defend themselves in a fight sir, they may need to leave the APC and proceed on foot.”

“I’ll send some people out in 30 minutes”

“Thank-you Mr. Pendegrass.  Wil you be joining them?”

“No Ma’am, I’ll ride security until we have this building empty.”

“Alright Sir, please keep in mind that we are not sure how long we can keep sending people home”

Mike Pendegrass thought about this for a while before responding.

“You keep the door open; we’ll get people home and I’ll get home in time to complain to your superior about your flippant attitude during a crisis”

Chief Pendegras could feel the woman on the end of the line smile.

“It’s a date sir”

Chief Pendegrass flipped his phone closed and turned on the PA.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, I need 10 volunteers who have either combat experience or combat training.  Make your presence known to the security team on your floor and we will escort your to the main lobby.  Thank-you for your cooperation”

Almost instantaneously, his radio lit up “Chief, what the fuck? Are we recruiting deputies?”

“Guys, this is the chief.  We are recruiting some people to run Pony Express, escort people to the main lobby and then return to your posts.  We’re going to round up ten people to make a run to the Fema center and head for home; if they make it, we’ll send more.  The rest WILL be deputized.”

A chorus of, ‘okay chief, got it’ sounded back.  Chief Pendegrass was left to think about the voice on his phone and the prospect of leaving on the APC outside.