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Month: March 2012

Who knew Patricia Heaton was such a D-Bag?

Nightmares

So, I ’ve had nightmares two nights in a row; pretty bad ones.

Saturday night I dreamed that a former co-worker/executive at a firm I worked at before had decided that I had wronged the firm in the past week and proceeded to sue me. It was pretty real and extreme.

Last night though; last night was a doozy. For some reason we lived in a house that had a fridge and a “cool shelf” which could be used to defrost meat and so on, but not store it long term. This is kind of important to the dream. Anyway in the dream we had an elderly male relative staying with us that we called “Grandpa” everyone called him this (he was not a relative of mine in real life nor Jen’s I have no idea where my brain came up with him) anyway; Grandpa had been pulling meat out of the fridge and putting it in the cool shelf; but I thought it was Jen. When it became clear it was Grandpa; we got mad at him and he left in a huff (without letting anyone know he was leaving) so we thought he had wandered off (he had some kind of memory problem, which was why he was living with us). I was guilted into going out looking for him and this is where the dream took a turn. It was ALWAYS night outside, a dim kind of deep murky night. There was some light; but all through the dream it was dark out.

Fast foreward a bit; I’ve been out in the snow looking for this old codger and have come home; I look in his room and there he is, asleep in his bed. Elizabeth hears someone at the door and goes to answer it; I hear it too there is kind of a murmering noise like there is a whole crowd of men just mumbling things to themselves; they reached through the door and grabbed Elizabeth; I jumped towards them

and then found myself awake flying off of my bed slamming into the wall and the floor, I had leaped from my bed in my sleep to catch Elizabeth as she was being dragged out of the house.

What a way to wake up.

Nightmares

So, I ’ve had nightmares two nights in a row; pretty bad ones.

Saturday night I dreamed that a former co-worker/executive at a firm I worked at before had decided that I had wronged the firm in the past week and proceeded to sue me. It was pretty real and extreme.

Last night though; last night was a doozy. For some reason we lived in a house that had a fridge and a “cool shelf” which could be used to defrost meat and so on, but not store it long term. This is kind of important to the dream. Anyway in the dream we had an elderly male relative staying with us that we called “Grandpa” everyone called him this (he was not a relative of mine in real life nor Jen’s I have no idea where my brain came up with him) anyway; Grandpa had been pulling meat out of the fridge and putting it in the cool shelf; but I thought it was Jen. When it became clear it was Grandpa; we got mad at him and he left in a huff (without letting anyone know he was leaving) so we thought he had wandered off (he had some kind of memory problem, which was why he was living with us). I was guilted into going out looking for him and this is where the dream took a turn. It was ALWAYS night outside, a dim kind of deep murky night. There was some light; but all through the dream it was dark out.

Fast foreward a bit; I’ve been out in the snow looking for this old codger and have come home; I look in his room and there he is, asleep in his bed. Elizabeth hears someone at the door and goes to answer it; I hear it too there is kind of a murmering noise like there is a whole crowd of men just mumbling things to themselves; they reached through the door and grabbed Elizabeth; I jumped towards them

and then found myself awake flying off of my bed slamming into the wall and the floor, I had leaped from my bed in my sleep to catch Elizabeth as she was being dragged out of the house.

What a way to wake up.

Misanthropy means hating everyone Frankie, not just a subset of people

Misanthropy means hating everyone Frankie, not just a subset of people

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2012-03-04

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Woman: Can I have birth control?
Government: No.
Woman: I got pregnant because I didn’t have birth control and I don’t want the fetus. Can I have an abortion?
Government: No.
Woman: I gave birth to my child but since I wasn’t expecting it, I can’t afford daycare. Can I have help paying for it?
Government: No.
Woman: Well, why can’t I have birth control?
Government: Because. Sex isn’t for recreation.
Woman: It can help regulate my period and benefit me in other ways.
Government: Too bad.
Man: For no reason other than for recreational sex, may I have birth control?
Government: Do you have a penis?
Man: YES, YES I DO!!
Government: WELL HOWDY, VALID CITIZEN. You can buy condoms by the dozens. Here, here’s a pack of special condom for “His Pleasure.” Oooh, these come in different colours and flavours. Here, try these. They have ribs on them. And this one glows in the dark!! LOL OMG DICK LIGHTSABER!!
Government: But seriously, you’re a man. You can do what ever you want.
Woman: But-
Government: Shut up, you sinning, freeloading hussy.

Woman: Can I have birth control?
Government: No.
Woman: I got pregnant because I didn’t have birth control and I don’t want the fetus. Can I have an abortion?
Government: No.
Woman: I gave birth to my child but since I wasn’t expecting it, I can’t afford daycare. Can I have help paying for it?
Government: No.
Woman: Well, why can’t I have birth control?
Government: Because. Sex isn’t for recreation.
Woman: It can help regulate my period and benefit me in other ways.
Government: Too bad.
Man: For no reason other than for recreational sex, may I have birth control?
Government: Do you have a penis?
Man: YES, YES I DO!!
Government: WELL HOWDY, VALID CITIZEN. You can buy condoms by the dozens. Here, here’s a pack of special condom for “His Pleasure.” Oooh, these come in different colours and flavours. Here, try these. They have ribs on them. And this one glows in the dark!! LOL OMG DICK LIGHTSABER!!
Government: But seriously, you’re a man. You can do what ever you want.
Woman: But-
Government: Shut up, you sinning, freeloading hussy.